1. ONE, TWO BILLY'S COMING FOR YOU
(Holy News / News)

BILLY BOB THORNTON TO PLAY FREDDY KRUEGER

2. WAR OF THE STONE ROSES
(Holy News / News)

JOSS STONE TO APPEAR IN 'THE TUDORS' AS ANNE OF CLEVES

3. BOHEMIAN TRAGEDY
(Holy News / News)

MUSIC POLL CONFIRMS PEOPLE ARE IDIOTS

4. WE WILL SHOCK YOU
(Holy News / News)

BRIAN MAY SURPRISED THAT FREDDIE MERCURY WAS GAY

5. Freddie Mercury
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Who wants to live forever? Not you for a start...

6. Freddie Star - Celeb Wife Swap
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

An ignorant, unfunny, cretinous, rude, lazy, uncouth, immature, thick cunt.

7. Mika
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Oh fuck off. Ripping off Freddie Mercury in every single aspect of his act makes you look like a right cunt.

8. Queen (remaining band members of)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For working with 5ive. And Ben Elton. For pretending you hold Freddies memory in such high regard whilst selling every bit of the goofy puff's soul and credibility 'cos you're useless as individua

9. Royaume-Uni Nil Points
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...hico would be too embarrassed to sing. Let's just accept it we are despised throughout Europe, so even if Freddie Mercury made a miraculous recovery and performed with Queen, we would still lose out ...

10. Ricky Wilson
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For being the best frontman of a band since Freddie and Morrissey. A legend in the making.

11. PEDALO PISSHEADS
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...r the country if they can't occasionally get absolutely cunted and fall off a pedalo? Ridiculous. Freddie ought to be careful - With the murder of that old guy, the cricketing world now makes...