1. ANOTHER HOLY MOLY WORLD EXCLUSIVE: CHERYL COLE IS DEFINITELY THE NEXT X FACTOR JUDGE
(Holy News / News)

Cheryl Cole set to be announced as Sharon Osbourne's replacement on X Factor

2. A WOMB WITH A VIEW
(Holy News / News)

NICOLE KIDMAN WON'T BE POSING PREGNANT AND NUDE

3. NO HONESTLY, IT'S MY PLEASURE
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE PHOTOGRAPHED NAKED FOR BREAST CANCER

4. FEELING THE HEAT
(Holy News / News)

HEAT MAGAZINE APOLOGISES FOR HARVEY PRICE COMMENTS

5. SEXY BITCH
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S PICTURE OF THE WEEK

6. HM APPROVED!
(Holy News)

GUITAR PLAYERS SHRED

7. PETIT POIS
(Holy News / News)

FERGIE MAKES PRAT OUT OF HERSELF

8. PLEASE HAMMER, DON’T DISAPPOINT THEM!
(Holy News / News)

MC HAMMER IS NOT DEAD OFFICIAL

9. Beckham Back In The Box
(Holy News / News)

David Beckham wants more children

10. The blind leading the blind
(Holy News / News)

Pete Doherty and Kate Moss use a walking stick

11. Hang Ten (and then shoot the rest)
(Holy News / News)

Exclusive First Look At Big Brother 8 Skate Ramp

12. Britney Looks Cheap And Nasty
(Holy News / News)

Britney Spears, in a strange Lycra ensemble, and child step out to the dance studio

13. Jade Goody Isn't Racist, Apparently
(Holy News / News)

Jade Goody testifies in court against a woman who attacked a young, black singer

14. Kat(ona) Fighting
(Holy News / News)

Kerry Katona walks out of a gruesome Ultimate Fighting contest in disgust

15. Jade Goody Isn't Racist, Apparently
(Holy News / News)

Jade Goody Isn't Racist, Apparently

16. A Womb With A View
(Holy News / News)

A Womb With A View

17. 'Celebrity' magazine readers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...girlfriend' for Chantelle, you lot are all over it. Preston and Chantelle get married, you lot buy the photo-exclusives. Preston and Chantelle buy a new fucking toaster, you lot know what brand it is...

18. OK magazine's 'World Exclusives'
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Reuters , Associated Press, etc must be fucking kicking themselves week in, week out