1. LIGHTS, CAMERA, ERECTION
(Holy News / News)

JOHN C REILLY IS HONEST ABOUT SEX SCENES

2. THE STENCH OF PUBLICITY
(Holy News / News)

POSH AND BECKS SINGATURE SCENT HITS NOSTRILS

3. THERE'S A GHOST IN MY HOUSE?
(Holy News / News)

DENISE RICHARDS TRIES TO STOP CHARLIE SHEEN SEEING HIS CHILDREN

4. EMO KID
(Holy News / News)

ASHLEE SIMPSON AND PETE WENTZ HAVING A CHILD. OR NOT

5. JUNGLE LOVE
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN AND PETER REVISIT THE SET OF 'I'M A CELEB'

6. DOUBLE SPREAD
(Holy News / News)

HUGH HEFFER WANTS THE OLSEN TWINS TO POSE FOR PLAYBOY

7. MUSE ERECTION NON ERECTION
(Holy News / News)

COUNCIL FIND MUSE SIGN OFFENSIVE AND BIN SLOGAN

8. PANTS OF PHEW!
(Holy News / News)

WOGAN UNAPOLOGETIC FOR TROUSER BULGE

9. EYESORE WILL FOLLOW
(Holy News / News)

BONO IS DETERMINED TO RUIN THE DUBLIN SKYLINE

10. COCKED, BLOCKED WITH TWO PURPLE BARRELS
(Holy News / News)

Guess which celebrity bought a strap-on sex toy?

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

12. OH MY LORD I'VE JUST GOT AN ERECTION
(Holy News / News)

Heroes Season 2 teaser clips and pictures leaked online

13. Obligatory Youtube Clip
(Holy News / News)

John Legend shows why doing the bump and grind on stage might reveal more than your romantic side

14. Houston, I Have A Problem
(Holy News / News)

Bobby Brown - Still scared of Osama Bin Laden

15. JEAN CLAUDE VAN...DAMN!
(Holy News / News)

Jean Claude dancing like your dad

16. JEAN CLAUDE VAN...DAMN!
(Holy News / News)

JEAN CLAUDE VAN...DAMN!

17. Being paralysed
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ving my life saved by do-gooders so I can never fuck a woman again even though every morning I get a raging erection while being washed by a so called carer whos cunt I can smell and just had unsatisf...

18. Unwanted erections
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I'm sat on a bus, and a gorgeous short-skirted bird gets on and sits next to me, and combined with the fact that I feel vibrations beacuse I am sat above the wheel arch or near the engine I end up wit

19. Dame Helen Mirren
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Because no other woman past the age of 60 will give you an erection

20. Errol Flynn
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For not only being a true British matinee idol but for snuffing it whilst having an erection...wonder if Bruce Willis will die hard too?

21. Terry Wogan
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For packing a large erection on points of view on tv and then bringing out an autobiography entitled "WOGAN'S TWELVE ", Terrance, you are a legend sir, I salute you!

22. At some point in a straight man's life they will w...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

... or an episode of Queer as Folk where there's a bit of bumming and be either relieved that he didn't get an erection or leave the room stiff as a tent post with a severe sense of confusion......

23. A boy's first memorable erection will come from re...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

A boy's first memorable erection will come from reading his mam's tampax instructions next to the toilet. He won't know why, but he'll become stiff as a board.

24. if you have plugged in your ipod to your speakers ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...ipod to your speakers for some mood music while courting your potential bed-partner, nothing will kill your erection faster then an unexpected Radiohead song. When it does happen, no power in the Univ...

25. Nothing feels so wrong as having an erection while...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Nothing feels so wrong as having an erection while having a poo

26. You'll always feel like a pedo when walking past a...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

You'll always feel like a pedo when walking past a playground. This rule doesn't apply if you have an erection at the time, as then you probably are one.

27. IRONMAN
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

... of the year. this is the first film Marvel have funded entirely themselves, meaning no compromise, no erection-wilting storyline - no cheap shot 'name' star - just a fucking great comic book sup...

28. WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE!
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...decided to put people in costumes rather than CGI, the cockles of my heart warmed right up and I had a semi-erection. The clip below was thought to be a leaked scene from the film but has turned ...

29. DRAGONS DEN
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...Do they see through this? Do they fuck. Every single one invested, the two guys could hardly disguise their erections and 'Dragon History Was Made". Just bloody awesome. ...