1. THE TALE OF JACK AND AMY
(Holy News / News)

WINEHOUSE ORDERS 48 BOTTLES OF LIQUOR FOR BESTIVAL

2. RUN FOR THE HILLS!
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM'S LIFE TO BE MADE INTO MUSICAL

3. HE ISN'T A MAN YET
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 48

4. HE'S TALKING WITH HIS DICK OUT
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 47

5. WHY DID YOU FORSAKE US!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 39

6. WE STARTED OFF NAKED
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 38

7. CHICKPEA VERSUS CHICKPEA
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 31

8. I'LL BE THERE FOR YOU
(Holy News / News)

RICHIE SAMBORA WILL SUPPORT HEATHER LOCKLEAR

9. BAG TO RIGHTS
(Holy News / News)

NAOMI CAMPBELL CHARGED OVER AIRPORT INCIDENT

10. WHAT IS TOM SAYING?
(Holy News / Competition)

CAN YOU GUESS WHAT TOM JONES IS SINGING?

11. COTTAGE PLEAS
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON IS NASTY TO HER FORMER BEST FRIEND

12. WHO'S PLAYING RON?
(Holy News / News)

RIDLEY SCOTT TO MAKE REAGAN GORBACHEV FILM

13. PRISON BLAAAAAAKE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF A TWAT

14. ADD A DASH OF HYPOCRISY...
(Holy News / News)

NIGELLA LAWSON WON'T LEAVE HER CHILDREN AN INHERITANCE

15. GOLDIE DUCKIN' FAME
(Holy News / News)

GOLDIE HAWN ANNOYED BY OBSESSIVE PRESS

16. OBLIGATORY YOU TUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

NEW GUINNESS ADVERT IS PREDICTABLY AMAZING

17. 'B' IS FOR 'BLAND'
(Holy News / News)

MELANIE BROWN LOVES HER CHILDREN AND HER HUSBAND

18. Stand By Your Man (Just Not Too Close)
(Holy News / News)

Mel Brown denies husband is a wife beater - court papers say otherwise

19. Sniffer Savages Swede
(Holy News / News)

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson lashes out at Ulrika Jonnson

20. How Hard The Duck?
(Holy News / News)

Mel B's new husband is a duck killer

21. And Goofy Came Too
(Holy News)

Britney and Kevin to have a post-divorce holiday at Disney World

22. Obligatory Youtube Clip
(Holy News / News)

Paula Abdul booted off Bratz and boohooing

23. Prince Of Snides
(Holy News / News)

Prince performs for Penelope Cruz

24. Cruise The Boss?
(Holy News / News)

Tom Cruise may buy David Beckham's new US football club

25. Duckin' Donuts
(Holy News / News)

Naomi Campbell shoots self-deprecating ad for Dunkin Donuts

26. Britney shouldn't be allowed near pricks
(Holy News / News)

Britney Spears reportedly throws a sharp knife at a man's head for forgetting her 'special lights'

27. Not At It Like Kravitz
(Holy News / News)

Penelope Cruz has split from beau Josh Hartnett and is following rocker Lenny Kravitz around on tour

28. Ainsley Harriot
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

He has a tongue like a gammon steak that has been in more rims than a lorryload of Toilet Duck. An abosolutely gargantuan cunt.

29. Daily Mail
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...fucking page!!! http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-1029057/ Pictured-The-moment-heron-snatches-duckling-eats-mother.html And the fact that a heron has a wing span between 70 to 80 feet. ...

30. Fairtrade products.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... sure he gets a fair deal. Foreign Farmer=Poor. Consumer=Poor. Supermarket=Richer than 4 Scrooge McDucks. So who makes up the difference for the Supermarkets short fall of ethics? The consumer...