1. MISCHA PARIS
(Holy News / News)

MISCHA BARTON FLEES TO FRANCE TO AVOID PAPARAZZI

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

3. COTTAGE PLEAS
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON IS NASTY TO HER FORMER BEST FRIEND

4. CAPTION COMPETITION!
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN SEVERED HEADS COURTESY OF THE COTTAGE

5. WANNABE THINNEST
(Holy News / News)

SPICE GIRLS NOT COMPETITIVE OVER LOOKS

6. Kelly Airborne
(Holy News / News)

Amy Winehouse flies in female friends to the US to celebrate her wedding

7. Location Location Location
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...sense, bunch of cunts you are."We`re looking for a crash pad in London for,£300,000 and a nice weekend cottage in the Cotswolds for £750,000.Piss off and do somethng useful and live in a cave, ...

8. The difference in shade between her highlights and...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...n her highlights and her natural hair colour, is inversely proportional to a girl's proximity to a Chicken Cottage....