1. BAD NEWS FOR MUSE
(Holy News / News)

MUSE FALL FOUL OF HEALTH AND SAFETY LAWS

2. THE WOOD FOR THE TWEED?
(Holy News / News)

JADE GOODY'S PARTNER IN COURT FOR GOLF CLUB ATTACK

3. THE GOOD THE BAD THE V. UGLY
(Holy News / News)

Backstage stuff from the V Festival

4. Chelmsford Police
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For having a dozen of you manning the ticket barriers while hundreds pissed crusties from V are queuing for a cab. Then along comes a twat who decides to push in, a fight starts and you all come runni

5. V Fest (chelmsford)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The dirty, thieving, overcharging, motherfucking cunts. I’m going to charge you £140 for camping in a shitty field with shitty toilets and then charge you £10 for park