1. HBO NO-NO
(Holy News / News)

KAYNE WEST TV SHOW 'TOO HARDCORE' TO AIR?

2. ARRIVING IN VEGAS, BABY
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY GOES TO LAS VEGAS!

3. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

4. KANYE TURN IT OVER?
(Holy News / News)

KANYE WEST PLANS HIS OWN TV SHOW

5. YOU CAN'T PUT A PRICE ON CLASS
(Holy News / News)

KATIE PRICE REFUSED ENTRY AT THE CARTIER POLO MATCH

6. IDEAL HOLMES? NO!
(Holy News / News)

GUY RITCHIE INTENDS TO MAKE PLENTY MORE FILMS

7. LOST IN TRANSGRESSION
(Holy News / News)

BILL MURRAY IS A SEX ADDICT ACCORDING TO HIS WIFE

8. EXCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THIS...
(Holy News / News)

JIMI HENDRIX SEX TAPE TO BE RELEASED?

9. BAY CITY GROWLER
(Holy News / News)

MAYOR OF MADONNA'S HOME TOWN WANTS HER TO RETURN

10. THE OSCARS HAPPEN AND PEOPLE WON
(Holy News / News)

LIST OF ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS 2008

11. ADD A DASH OF HYPOCRISY...
(Holy News / News)

NIGELLA LAWSON WON'T LEAVE HER CHILDREN AN INHERITANCE

12. I THOUGHT THIS WAS BANNED?
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE BIOGRAPHY IS AVAILABLE IN THE UK AFTER ALL

13. COCK TALE
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE WAS A WOMANISER AND A HOMOPHOBE

14. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

15. BRONSON LITER
(Holy News / News)

SYLVESTER STALLONE MAY REMAKE DEATH WISH

16. LET'S ALL HAVE A FRITTATA PARTY
(Holy News / News)

IS NIGELLA LAWSON'S NEW SHOW THE WORST COOKERY SHOW EVER?

17. Da Bint-y Code
(Holy News / News)

Tara Palmer-Tomkinson's book is launched

18. Wishing The Days Away
(Holy News / News)

Kate and Pete split because of his death wish

19. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

20. CAPTION COMPETITION
(Holy News / News)

Prince Charles admires medals

21. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

22. Dead Di Made Me Do It
(Holy News / News)

Angelina Jolie's charity work is inspired by Princess Diana

23. Lily Lazarus
(Holy News / News)

Lily Allen makes miracle recovery

24. Bravo, Too Ginger
(Holy News / News)

Prince Harry begins training for mountainous desert war in Canada

25. From Housemartin to Homeowner
(Holy News / News)

Norman 'Fatboy Slim' Cook has withdrawn funding from a skate park fearing it will attract drug users

26. Reality show for sale
(Holy News / News)

Reality show for sale

27. Charles Clarke
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Total.total CUNT!!!!

28. Charles de Menezes' family
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Take your cheque and fuck off to brazil you cunts.

29. Charles Lawson aka Jim McDonald
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

whose entire contribution to an Irish accent is ending every sentence with either "so it is" or "so it does" - what a cunt.

30. Concert For Diana
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... not the fat Ginger one although I'm sure she'll be there covering it for US TV). Rod Stewart (a man after Charles' heart with a penchant for marrying dumb Blondes half his age). An Andrew Lloyd Webbe...