1. CLOTHING IMPEACHMENT
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GETS SAUCY IN UNDERWEAR CAMPAIGN

2. ULRIKA-KA-KA TO WAKE UP BRITAIN?
(Holy News / News)

ULRIKA JONSSON IN TALKS TO LAND TOP JOB ON GMTV

3. BLADE-Y CHEEK
(Holy News / News)

WESLEY SNIPES WOULD LIKE TO TRAVEL TO EUROPE TO WORK

4. PRISONER 57
(Holy News / News)

WESLEY SNIPES SENTENCED TO THREE YEARS IN JAIL

5. A WHOLE NEW ALBUM
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN AND PETER ANDRE PLAN NEW ALBUM

6. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

7. OBLIGATORY NOSTALGIA YOUTUBE
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE WEEK

8. Lyin' Wilson?
(Holy News / News)

Doubts surround facts of Owen Wilson's suicide bid

9. BBC News this morning
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"What's the best way to stop people killing each other with knives and blades?" Surely people killing each other in general is what needs to be tackled, you daft cunts.

10. Eager Workaholics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ppy then ,eh? No job, no life, no money, and you've been posted on Cunts Corner. Run a bath and borrow a blade....

11. Sean Wilson (Martin Platt)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...end is fucking ice skating. The only way I'll watch this shite is if the other twat list celebs use the blades on their skates to chop this uber cunts cock of a centimetre at a time and then pirouett...

12. Viral Chest Infection
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...n and kill you with a blunt object, instead of these anti-biotics, which have now caused me to shit razorblades...CUNT....

13. Georgie Thompson
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

I would ram a butt plug made of razor blades up my arse just to have her cover my scrotum in tepid fudge

14. Nadine Coyle
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

I would barefoot waterski across a lake of razor blades just to chew her toe nail clippings.

15. The only time you'll ever see cocaine being choppe...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

The only time you'll ever see cocaine being chopped up by a razor blade is on bbc news

16. Razor manufacturers; want to re-invent your produc...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Razor manufacturers; want to re-invent your product? Simply add another blade to it. Failing that, stick a battery in it.

17. THE DARK KNIGHT
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...peration. He's a true fiend: a relentless, prancing nightmare with a predilection for wicked mouth-sized blades. Where Jack Nicholson never managed to distance his own personality from the char...