1. SMOKE LIKE TEEN SPIRIT
(Holy News / News)

GERMAN ARTIST TO TOKE ON KURT COBAIN'S ASHES?

2. YOU'LL NEVER BE READY!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 5

3. BTW UR DMPD
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S TOP TEN BAD CELEBRITY BREAK UPS

4. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

5. A CAR CRASH NAMED 'MISS DIRE'
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS TO APPEAR ON LONDON STAGE?

6. DRINKING A LOHAN
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN IS DRINKING AGAIN

7. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

THE SECTRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHAMEABLES

8. STU STU STUDIO COVER UP
(Holy News)

RADIOHEAD LABEL TRACKS 'PHIL COLLINS' SO NO ONE STEALS THEM

9. VICE WARRIOR
(Holy News / News)

BILLIE PIPER URGES YOUNG FANS NOT TO WATCH NEW STEAMY SERIES

10. HM EXCLUSIVE: BILLIE AS BELLE DU JOUR PICTURES
(Holy News / News)

Holy Moly reveals exclusive pictures of Billie Piper as Belle Du Jour

11. Tied Piper
(Holy News / News)

Billie Piper struggles to dress like a hooker

12. Day 83: 21st August
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Housemates prepare to talk posh

13. THE GOOD THE BAD THE V. UGLY
(Holy News / News)

Backstage stuff from the V Festival

14. Money For New Rope
(Holy News / News)

Billie Piper given whipping lessons by a dominatrix

15. HM Exclusive: Billie Bares All For 'Belle'
(Holy News / News)

Billie Piper is to play her first ever nude role in 'Belle Du Jour'

16. Day 20: June 19
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Holy Moly discusses day 20 in the Big Brother house

17. UK HALL OF LAME
(Holy News / News)

UK HALL OF LAME

18. Alistair Campbell
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... in that literary behemoth "Forum", the writing must have been well and truly on the wall! Alistair Campbellend, more like! ...

19. Ben Affleck
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

what a fucking bellend. Sellout jeniffer Lopez marrying for ten minutes pearl harbour acting dick. I want to smash you round the head with a hammer you cunt faced cunt eyed cunt

20. End of season sports journos...
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ou over-dramatic twats. A sprained groin is hardly a cruciate ligament or a broken leg you journalistic bellends!...

21. Hard butter
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Even the stuff labelled 'soft'; if you leave it anywhere near a fridge, you can guarantee it'll rip the fuck out of any decent, long looked-forward-to sandwich you're about to knock up. Carves foot-wi

22. Michelle Heaton and Andy Scott-Lee
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ress and I won't even have to ruin my liver this time." Andy: "Genuis." Fucking disappear you desperate bellends....

23. Noel Edmonds
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...sibly, although I no longer wear children's clothes or draw on my hands. How about you Noel, you fucking bellend?...

24. R 'n' B
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... It's shit. Pointless, watered-down noise that's got something to do with love or heartbreak, enjoyed by bellends worldwide. It has about as much substance as OK! Magazine combined with all the meanin...

25. Ross Kemp in Afghanistan
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...kers like me stumble across it on Sky One and throw-up from the nauseating content? It's a war, Ross you bellend, not prime time entertainment. And don't go telling me it's educational to document...

26. Royal Mail
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...and clearly not giving a fuck. Utter cunts. Wouldn't know good delivery service if it bit them on the bellend....

27. Sir Menzies Campbell
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... to be called Ming, is that because you're a big fan of Ming the Merciless or is it because your a total bellend? Liberal Cuntacrat...

28. The Feeling
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I know they need no excuse to be labelled as cunts, but for writing lyrics that rhyme something about reading the papers, the ones you read on the escalators. Not the exact words, but something along

29. The Mighty Boosh fans
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Polka dot dress? Check Grotesque Gold Bellerina shoes? Check Angular haircut? Check Massive sunglasses? Check Cunt? Check = Mighty Boosh fan

30. FW: emails
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For being labelled quite clearly as a forward so I know to delete it immediately before I read the vacous content of this electronic turd.