1. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

COREY HAIM TALKS ABOUT DATING VICTORIA BECKHAM

2. MILKING THE CASH COWS
(Holy News / News)

LYNNE SPEARS CONFIRMS SHE IS WRITING A BOOK

3. YOU'RE GAVIN A LAUGH
(Holy News / News)

GAVIN ROSSDALE NAMED TOP DAD

4. HEALTHY, WEALTHY, UNWISE
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS TO RELEASE NEW BOOK

5. CRUISE MEETS VILLAGE PEOPLE?
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE ANECDOTE CUT FROM VILLAGE PEOPLE MEMOIR

6. MADONNA DID THE BROWN
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA DATED BOBBY BROWN. WELL THAT'S HER PREROGATIVE ETC

7. HOUSTON, YOU HAVE A PROBLEM
(Holy News / News)

BOBBY BROWN'S BOOK WILL BE A BESTSELLING BELTER

8. ROLL THE FIRST STONE
(Holy News / News)

KEITH RICHARDS READS THE BIBLE

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

10. A TURNER FOR THE WORST
(Holy News / News)

KATHLEEN TURNER VERSUS NIC CAGE PART TWO

11. JORDAN PICTURE GALLERY
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN POPS OUT IN WATERSTONES

12. SEETHING LAS VEGAS
(Holy News / News)

NIC CAGE SUES KATHLEEN TURNER OVER BOOK ALLEGATIONS

13. THE WOO BROTHERS
(Holy News / News)

RONNIE WOOD CAUGHT JOHN BELSUHI PROPOSING TO HIS WIFE

14. YOU'RE ALRIGHT JACK
(Holy News / News)

JOHN BARROWMAN CALLS FOR STARS TO COME OUT OF THE CLOSET

15. SLASH CORDON
(Holy News / News)

SLASH REFUSED TO ALLOW MICHAEL JACKSON NEAR HIS CHILD

16. AND THE BRAND PLAYED ON
(Holy News / News)

RUSSELL BRAND REVEALS HOW HE LOST HIS VIRGINITY

17. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

18. SLOWHAND'S LIGHT FINGERS
(Holy News / News)

ERIC CLAPTON STOLE GEORGE HARRISON'S WIFE OUT OF JEALOUSLY

19. THE SMACK AND THE FIDDLE
(Holy News / News)

RONNIE WOOD'S FAKE INSURANCE CLAIM FOR DRUG MONEY

20. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

21. Now, Where Was I?
(Holy News / News)

Bidding war breaks out for Keith Richards' memoirs

22. Wiggy Wah Wah!
(Holy News / News)

Terry Wogan warned for plugging his TV show on the radio

23. Jordan Plans 'Operation Welly-Top Removal'
(Holy News / News)

Katie Price will have her vagina tightened after her daughter is born

24. Mick Jagger - Paint It Magnolia
(Holy News / News)

The Rolling Stones' Mick Jagger has decided, despite his position as one of the faces of the 60s and

25. Boys will be great big bloody girls
(Holy News / News)

Boys will be great big bloody girls

26. Coleens autobiography
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Reading equivilant to seeing your new kitten get run over by a double decker bus.

27. Recent Comedy
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...Carribean came out? Yes, here we have the worlds most overpaid Jack Sparrow impersonator. I gather he named his autobiography as a reference to Clockwork Orange...Eerily, Another eyeliner and ridicul...

28. Stephen Fry
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... For many years of being able to say, in the midst of an adolescent argument, "Well, just read page X of his autobiography and you''ll agree with me" and actually having that person defer to my/hi...

29. Terry Wogan
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For packing a large erection on points of view on tv and then bringing out an autobiography entitled "WOGAN'S TWELVE ", Terrance, you are a legend sir, I salute you!

30. Never judge a book by it's cover. Unless it's Jord...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Never judge a book by it's cover. Unless it's Jordan's autobiography, in which case you can correctly assume it's going to be shit.