1. I KNOW WHO MIGHT KILL ME
(Holy News / News)

LINSDAY LOHAN RECEIVES 'BIBLICAL THREATS'

2. NOT A SHARP MOVE
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE BUYS SIX-YEAR-OLD SON HIS 'FIRST KNIFE'

3. MOTHER KNOWS BEST
(Holy News / News)

MYLEENE KLASS LAUNCHES A BABY RANGE

4. FEELING FRUITY
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GELDOF STICKS THE BOOT IN TO STAFF

5. SPIDEY BLOODY SPIDEY
(Holy News / News)

BONO'S MUSICAL EXPECTED TO COST $40M

6. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA MAKES UP AN IMPROMPTU SONG ABOUT SARAH PALIN

7. WORST. MARKETING. IDEA. EVER.
(Holy News / News)

'SO CRAP IT'S GOOD' MARKETING HITS ROCK BOTTOM

8. LITERALLY 'LITERALLY AMAZING'
(Holy News / News)

TAKE ON ME - LIT-ER-ALLY

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

10. THE NAKED CHIEF
(Holy News / News)

JAMIE OLIVER ANGERS FANS WITH 'MINGING' CLAIMS

11. GIRLFIGHT
(Holy News / News)

MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IN SEX TOY BATTLE

12. BEAT THE SPARTANS
(Holy News / News)

GERARD BUTLER ACCUSED OF ATTACKING PHOTOGRAPHER

13. BABY TWO MORE TIMES...
(Holy News / News)

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS RUMOURED TO PREGNANT AGAIN

14. HOW TO LOSE FANS AND ALIENATE CRITICS
(Holy News / News)

KIRSTEN DUNST TO WRITE HER OWN MUSICAL

15. ROLAND TWAT
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY TO LOCK HIMSELF IN A RAT-FILLED COFFIN

16. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

17. THE (HARD) CELL
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ HAS NO PROBLEMS WITH SCIENTOLOGY

18. MARQUEE LOON
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS FALLS FOUL OF PLANNING LAWS AGAIN

19. SINCERITY REPORT
(Holy News / News)

NICOLE KIDMAN ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH TOM CRUISE

20. SHE'S A WITCH... BURN HER!
(Holy News / News)

BOND GIRL GEMMA WAS BORN WITH SIX DIGITS ON EACH HAND

21. OFFSPRING OF GIANT FACE ON MYSPACE
(Holy News / News)

GALAXY-FACED ACTRESS HOSTS NEW BABY PICTURES ON MYSPACE

22. POSH ENDORSES SHIT
(Holy News / News)

BECKHAMS ATTRIBUTE PERFECT COMPLEXIONS TO APPLICATION OF BIRD POO

23. BIRTHDAY MILEY-STONE MILLSTONE
(Holy News / News)

HANNAH MONTANA STAR MILEY CYRUS IS FORCED TO WORK ON HER 16TH BIRTHDAY

24. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

25. LO PUNCHES
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN'S FATHER TO APPEAR IN CHARITY BOXING MATCH

26. ALL LYNNE THE PAST
(Holy News / News)

LYNNE SPEARS IS OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE

27. WALK THE BANK
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

28. MEAT THE BEATLES
(Holy News / News)

MACCA'S NEW SQUEEZE NOW A CARD-CARRYING VEGETARIAN

29. YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM ADMITS THAT MEN DON'T FIND HER SEXY

30. THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
(Holy News / News)

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL WON'T BE RELEASED EARLY