1. SURELY HE'S JOAQUIN
(Holy News / News)

JOAQUIN PHOENIX FAILS TO SPELL HIS OWN NAME CORRECTLY

2. NEVER SHAY NEVER AGAIN
(Holy News / News)

SEAN CONNERY WILL NEVER MAKE ANOTHER FILM

3. West Wing dialogue
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You seem to believe that the more words you say as quickly as possible, the more intelligent you will appear. This is not true. In fact, you will look like a desperately wordy scriptwriter's wankfest.

4. All Stephen King books since 1994 are about a writ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

All Stephen King books since 1994 are about a writer with writer's block and a dead wife that lives in a spooky house.