1. LOVE MATCH POINT
(Holy News / News)

SCARLETT JOHANSSON MARRIES RYAN REYNOLDS IN CANADA

2. SPIKE MOANS
(Holy News / News)

SPIKE LEE SAYS HIS NEW YORK BASE DENIES HIM OSCARS

3. BOOZE N' THE WOOD
(Holy News / News)

RONNIE WOOD ENTERS REHAB FOR ALCOHOLISM THERAPY

4. POPPING THE PAPS
(Holy News / News)

WOODY HARRELSON SUED FOR BREAKING PHOTOGRAPHER'S CAMERA

5. WHO'S YOUR DADDY?
(Holy News / News)

HOLY MOLY'S LIST OF THE WORST FATHERS EVER

6. STONED ALONE
(Holy News / News)

WOODY HARRELSON PLANS TO STARVE HIMSELF FOR 40 DAYS

7. HUGH PERVERT
(Holy News / News)

MILEY CYRUS OFFERED TO POSE NAKED FOR PLAYBOY AT 18

8. PRISONER 57
(Holy News / News)

WESLEY SNIPES SENTENCED TO THREE YEARS IN JAIL

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. YES, BUT IS HE HAPPY?
(Holy News / News)

SALMA HAYEK AND FIANCE ARE HOLLYWOOD'S RICHEST COUPLE

12. JOY TO THE WORLD
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS MARTIN IS NOT AS POLITE AS HIS DAUGHTER

13. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

14. WAITING FOR WELLARD
(Holy News / News)

EASTENDERS TO FEATURE HALF HOUR SOLILOQUY

15. SLEEPER WITH ME
(Holy News / News)

WOODY ALLEN DENIES OBSESSION WITH SCARLETT JOHANSSON

16. PANTS OF PHEW!
(Holy News / News)

WOGAN UNAPOLOGETIC FOR TROUSER BULGE

17. THE SMACK AND THE FIDDLE
(Holy News / News)

RONNIE WOOD'S FAKE INSURANCE CLAIM FOR DRUG MONEY

18. Let It Read
(Holy News / News)

Keith Richards beaten to the bookshelves by Ronnie Wood

19. Heeeeeeere's Hunter!
(Holy News / News)

Jack Nicholson cheated death at the hand of Hunter S Thompson

20. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

21. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

22. WHO ARE THEY?
(Holy News / News)

The goings on at the Doctor Who premiere

23. WHO ARE THEY?
(Holy News / News)

Pictures from the Doctor Who screening

24. Andrew Morton book on Tom Cruise
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...into his first wife, Mimi Rogers. Other 'revelatory' facts include: Tom does a good impersonation of Woody Woodpecker. He can be a bit controlling He used to collect model planes. Save your m...

25. Woody Allen
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I worshipped you once, but there has been a sad decline in the last ten years, now you trundle out mediocre, middle class, unfunny shite and call it a film that no one wants to see...going from pillar

26. How to make a Woody Allen movie: 1) Sleep with un...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

How to make a Woody Allen movie: 1) Sleep with underage girls 2) Read an existentialist novel. Any'll do.