1. COLEEN AND WAYNE'S WEDDING PICTURES
(Holy News / News)

WE FIND PICTURES OF COLEEN AND WAYNE'S WEDDING NOT SOLD TO OK! MAGAZINE

2. LOONEY ROONEY
(Holy News / News)

WAYNE ROONEY WANTS TO HAVE LOTS OF CHILDREN

3. LAWFUL WEDDED WESTLIFE
(Holy News / News)

WESTLIFE TO PERFORM AT WAYNE AND COLEEN'S WEDDING

4. A RIGHT TALE
(Holy News / News)

'HEATH LEDGER' CONMAN REFUSES TO APOLOGISE

5. DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER
(Holy News / News)

MELINDA MESSENGER SEPARATES FROM HUSBAND OF TEN YEARS

6. COLEEN'S REAL WEDDING
(Holy News / News)

WAYNE ROONEY AND COLEEN MCLOUGLIN TO SPEND 3 MILLION ON WEDDING

7. CRAP IDOL
(Holy News / News)

RIO FERDINAND ORGANISES 'RAP IDOL' FOR ANTI-GUN CAMPAIGN

8. PIC OF THE WEEK
(Holy News / News)

ART DIRECTOR IN LAST PROFESSIONAL JOB SHOCKER

9. THE REMAINS OF THE PAY
(Holy News / News)

MARILYN MANSON SUED FOR BUYING HUMAN REMAINS

10. BRING ON MONDAY!
(Holy News / News)

BOTH PRISON BREAK 3 AND HEROES 2 PREMIERE ON MONDAY

11. Jokey Bacon
(Holy News / News)

Kevin Bacon wants to show his lighter side

12. ITV Handcuffs Coleen
(Holy News / News)

WAG Coleen McLoughlin is signed up by ITV on a two-year presenter contract

13. Coleen & The Wannabe Wags Hit The Nags
(Holy News / News)

Coleen McLoughlin and her ugly entourage gather before going to Aintree's ladies' day

14. Colleen's Guests Are Cake-Takers
(Holy News / News)

WAG Colleen McLoughlin is upset that a guest is trying to sell off her birthday cake on eBay.

15. Colon, No
(Holy News / News)

guide for guests at Coleen Mcloughlin's party

16. Harper Collins
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For giving Wayne Rooney 7 trillion quid to write some fucking books. What next- Stephen Hawking getting a 5 year contract at Old Trafford? Though having said that, he'd still be better than Rio Ferdin

17. Hype
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Tabloid twats are always hyping things up. For example, the fact that Wayne Rooney "is going to shoot us to glory in Germany." Fate has now been tempted. Hundred quid says the moment he steps out on

18. Maxine Carr
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For not calling her son Wayne....and for helping hiding childrens bodies n that. But mainly for the first thing! CUNT

19. Nike Football Boots
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For breaking little Wayne Rooneys foot amd ending the hopes of a nation.

20. Relatives who buy you biographies
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...d want to read the "life story" of a jug-eared, pizza faced, thieving pikey scouse, 2 year old cunt like Wayne "Good at football, bad to look at" Rooney. I'm your fucking nephew - you should know m...

21. Wayne and Colleen
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Mr and Mrs Shrek

22. Wayne Hemingway
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Design guru, check. Working class roots, check. Met wife while dancing to Northern Soul, check. Started with a market stall in Camden, check. Pops up on each and every C4 nostalgia fest, check. Gratin

23. Wayne Hemmingway
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Hang on a minute, Red or Dead clothes were fucking rubbish. They were cheap and nasty, made in prisons and pieces of shit. "Fashion Irony"? Well yes it is fucking ironic that someone with such a shi

24. Wayne Rooney
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Scouse chav with a face like a robbers dog. Score a few more goals or fuck off back to Pikeyville and nicking car steroes, you monkey faced cunt.

25. Wayne Rooney in Ibiza
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You can just picture it can't you? A bunch of wanky footballers acting like a bunch of cunts. What's the bet he has one final bang on a withered up old crone

26. Wayne Rooney's younger brother
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...nating his older brother in an attempt to get his cock wet in a night club (even referring to himself as Wayne Rooney) Does he realise his brother has a face like an old man crying?...

27. wayne rooney's mum
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

this woman,despite living with the burden of giving birth to shrek,has lost 7 stone.She did it quietly without sharing all the gory details via the papers.She looks great and all credit to her. (wi

28. If you stare directly into Colleen McLoughlin's bu...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

If you stare directly into Colleen McLoughlin's bum hole you will see the face of Wayne Rooney eating a Zoom ice lolly

29. "Shannon Matthews: the Movie" A gripping heist ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...ents and utter stupidity. Karen Matthews (Johnny Vegas) is the criminal mastermind, daughter Shannon (Wayne Rooney) the unwitting pawn in her evil machinations. Stepdad Craig Meehan (a chimp) gets ...