1. HAIL TO THE TEETH
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE TO PLAY PRESIDENT OF USA IN MOVIE

2. WHAT IS SARAH HARDING DOING?
(Holy News / News)

SARAH HARDING PICTURE GALLERY

3. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

THE SECTRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHAMEABLES

4. THE DAY THE MUSIC CRIED
(Holy News / News)

BOYZONE TO REFORM AND FURTHER ALBUMS NOT RULED OUT

5. HER LOVE PROBABLY DOES COST A FAIR FEW THINGS
(Holy News / News)

J-LO WILL PROBABLY BE THE NEXT KATE MOSS ACCORDING TO TOP SHOP

6. SHOW ME THE WAY TO STAY HOME
(Holy News / News)

OWEN WILSON HIRES A SOBER COMPANION

7. IN YOUR EYE 'HMV'...
(Holy News / News)

IN YOUR EYE 'HMV'...

8. Ignorance on American history
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Yes the US did provide us with lend lease during WWII. We stopped paying for it about 3 years ago. It wasn't a gift. And they joined the war when Japan bombed Pearl Harbour and when Hitler declared wa

9. maestro bbc1
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... know better still, lets do away with the olympics and put all the athletes on a global network with a wii, what will these cunts think of next!!...

10. Ninetendo Wii
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For giving me such a painful arm ache after excessive use, one that I haven't experienced since I found that copy of Razzle in the bushes down White Horse Lane Playing Fields when I was 12.

11. Nintendo
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

what no Wii consoles available , piss taking Nintendo cunts!

12. Nintendo Wii
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For changing my dream console name from Revolution to Wii....as in 'we'. Nintendo, people already think that you are have a child image. Good move naming your console something that is gonna have the

13. Nintendo Wii Players
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

All Nintendo has to do now is release a virtual wanking game for you cunts to play, the motions you will be doing with the control pad speak volumes about you.

14. People who refuse to believe that you ca
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

In the past 12 months i've recieved 4 PS3s, a Wii, an Xbox 360, 3 Ipod Touches, 2 Ipod Videos, 2 Ipod Nanos, a 32" HDTV, a 24" Imac, a TomTom GO, a Dyson worth £300, an Iphone, and numerous other thi

15. People who rev their car engines at 6am
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ff it outside my bastard bedroom window every sodding morning making me wake up in terror imagining a WWII Spitfire crash landing into my bedroom. Why you find this necessary is beyond me entirely. I ...

16. Guitar Legends 3 on the Wii
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For giving me the best Christmas ever.

17. my female neighbour
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...e of it barely legal. sometimes she buys him presents to help her with the guilt, lucky bastard got a Wii last week......

18. my missus
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...omething equally exciting for her and not for me. Lo and behold the beauty has only gone a bought me a Wii and this is a real sacrifice, she knows this spells the end of our marriage before we've even...

19. Nikita Khrushchev
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Played a decisive role in seeing off the nazis in WWII, then released 8 million people from gulags when he became Soviet leader, undid a lot of Stalin's repression, and helped open up the USSR to the

20. You know you've had a pint too many at a wedding d...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

...y at a wedding do when you're describing to the bride, in detail, that you'd like to design a Nintendo Wii game that allowed you to 'wank' the controller over a jpeg image (that can be uploaded) and w...

21. The people so desperate for Wii's that they are wi...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

The people so desperate for Wii's that they are willing to pay well over the odds for the consoles are the same people who will use it as much as a Mr Frosty or a Sandwich Toaster in 2 months.

22. Nobody picks the male 'Wii Fit' instructor....
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Nobody picks the male 'Wii Fit' instructor.

23. you know you're unfit when your legs are sore afte...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

you know you're unfit when your legs are sore after playing wii bowls.

24. PLAYSTATION 3
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

Un fucking believable. Leave the Wii to children and people pretending it gets you fit. Buy one of these fellows instead. You'll lose your marriage, sleep, friends and sanity, gran