1. BUSTED
(Holy News / News)

MATT WILLIS FORCED INTO REHAB AFTER NIGHT OUT WITH AMY

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

3. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News)

GORILLAZ DARE VIDEO

4. CAN'T STAND MEOW
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY ATTEMPTED TO KILL HIS CAT

5. TEQUILA SLAM-DUNKERS
(Holy News / News)

DENNIS RODMAN MAY NOT BE SERIOUS ABOUT REHAB

6. SHALLOW KNAVE
(Holy News / News)

EWAN MCGREGOR GREATLY ADMIRES DANIEL DAY-LEWIS

7. IN THE BRAIN OF LOVE
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE DISMISSES CLAIMS SHE IS BI-POLAR

8. UTTER WASTE IN OTTOWA
(Holy News / News)

MICHELLE RYAN MISSED THE LITTLE DETAILS OF BRITISH LIFE

9. THE GIFT OF THE BLAH-BLAH-BLAH-NEY
(Holy News / News)

JAMES BLUNT IS CONSIDERING RETIREMENT IN IRELAND

10. HANSEL AND METAL
(Holy News / News)

OWEN WILSON MAY BE DATING BIONIC WOMAN MICHELLE RYAN

11. THERE GOES THE NEIGHBOURHOOD
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE EYES LONDON MANSIONS

12. THE REMAINS OF THE PAY
(Holy News / News)

MARILYN MANSON SUED FOR BUYING HUMAN REMAINS

13. TARDY BUM
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE FIVE HOURS LATE FOR SHOOT

14. TWO PREMIERE TICKETS FOR SHROOMS UP FOR GRABS
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN TWO TICKETS FOR THE DUBLIN PREMIERE OF SHROOMS

15. MARY-KATE UNWHOLESOME
(Holy News / News)

MARY-KATE OLSON LIKES TO GET NAKED AND SNOG GIRLS

16. Impure And Simple
(Holy News / News)

Sir Elton John wanted to have dinner with Danny from 'Hearsay'

17. Tom Chaplin: I Was Hardcore, Honest
(Holy News / News)

Keane singer Tom Chaplin tells the world what finally tipped him over the edge and into rehab

18. GIVE THAT MAN A SWISS ARMY KNIFE PRONTO!
(Holy News / News)

Victoria Beckham goes hang gliding on holiday

19. Broadband Provider
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e telling me 'it maybe easier to solve your problem online' after i have angrily fucking push-buttoned my wasted morning to 'so your shit internet has crashed again' section. What a bunch of student f...

20. Department of Health
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... filled the Albert Hall with £20 notes you wouldn't have a fraction of what these useless parasites have wasted on a computer system. Now they've just blighted the careers of many thousands of junior...

21. John McDermott
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Wasted his career playing at Grimsby Town when he could have moved to a bigger club. Also known as Le Tissier disease. Big Fish small pond no ambition cunt

22. Julie Burchill
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

This attention seeking hack of jabba-esque proportions has wasted too many column inches talking about herself for too long. The cunt is now taking a year off to study theology. There MUST be a god.

23. Live 8 DVD poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ing then.� It is NOT a true story, it is a JOKE that has been doing the rounds for months and if you wasted as much time at work as I do, you would know this yourself. ...

24. my 'friend'
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for being such a self-indulging, wasted, spoiled waste of a waste of space that i had to bite on my hand to stop myself from screaming at her like a marxist in mcdonalds.

25. Private Registration plate owners
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...its your fucking car, you're sat behind the wheel you fucking ASS CLOWN. Instead of spending all that wasted cash on getting a private reg, just call me. I'll come round and scratch the word CUNT ...

26. Telesales haters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...k to fucking your secretary/altar boy/paralegal. Your witticisms about "you are such a good salesman" are wasted on me as I hate my job and simply do it becasue I get an enormous kick out of screwing ...

27. Telesales haters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...k to fucking your secretary/altar boy/paralegal. Your witticisms about "you are such a good salesman" are wasted on me as I hate my job and simply do it becasue I get an enormous kick out of screwing ...

28. The middle classes
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...lot. Oh. And loud braying stoat-faced whores whinging on about pesto jars and Kibbutzs. Education was wasted on you: You are as sheeplike as Jade Goody and her mong hordes. ...

29. Weatherseal Punter
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ough to be taken in by a zit-faced teenager promising her uPVC Xanadu at the cunting door I wouldn't have wasted my time with a lifelong loser dole-cheat like you. I may stink of arse sweat, fags and ...

30. Women's World Cup
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

They don't even swap shirts at the end, 90 minutes wasted watching them prance about playing the worst football since England under Sven and they don't even have the good grace to get their jubblies o