1. WIN THREE PAIRS OF TICKETS FOR PREMIERE OF DEAD SET
(Holy News / Competition)

THREE PAIRS OF DEAD SET PREMIERE TICKETS UP FOR GRABS

2. NOT-SO-EASY RIDER
(Holy News / News)

JACK NICHOLSON EMBARRASSED BY OLD AGE

3. DATED ATTRACTION
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL DOUGLAS CONSIDERING WALL STREET SEQUEL

4. IT'S THE EBAY-CKHAMS
(Holy News / News)

BECKHAMS ROBBED. CUE NELSON FROM THE SIMPSONS 'HAH! HAH!' NOISE

5. MUMMY'S BOY
(Holy News / News)

BEST PLACE FOR WINEHOUSE'S CONVICT HUBBY IS HOME, SAYS MRS CIVIL

6. BEYOND THE PALIN
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY AND SAM GO POLITICAL FOR HALLOWEEN

7. DESPERATE DENIALS
(Holy News / News)

EVA LONGORIA CLAIMS SIZE ZERO STATUS DESPITE RECENT EXPANSION

8. PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON
(Holy News / News)

SHARON OSBOURNE BLASTS KIDMAN AND HER 'FLAT SCREEN' FRIENDS

9. SLIPPERY IN DEBT
(Holy News / News)

BON JOVI SUED FOR 400 BILLION DOLLARS. YES, 400 BILLION DOLLARS

10. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

RINGO STARR NO LONGER ACCEPTING FANMAIL - WORLD DISTINCTLY UNSHAKEN

11. FAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT
(Holy News / News)

RICKY GERVAIS NEVER LEAVES HIS HOUSE TO EXERCISE

12. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

13. LISTEN TO WHAT THE MAN SAID
(Holy News / News)

PAUL MCCARTNEY DREADS RUINING CAREER WITH BAD SONGS. AGAIN.

14. JENNY GETS ANOTHER ROCK
(Holy News / News)

J LO AND MARC ANTHONY RENEW WEDDING VOWS

15. NOT A SHARP MOVE
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE BUYS SIX-YEAR-OLD SON HIS 'FIRST KNIFE'

16. MOTHER KNOWS BEST
(Holy News / News)

MYLEENE KLASS LAUNCHES A BABY RANGE

17. FEELING FRUITY
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GELDOF STICKS THE BOOT IN TO STAFF

18. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA MAKES UP AN IMPROMPTU SONG ABOUT SARAH PALIN

19. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

20. THE NAKED CHIEF
(Holy News / News)

JAMIE OLIVER ANGERS FANS WITH 'MINGING' CLAIMS

21. GIRLFIGHT
(Holy News / News)

MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IN SEX TOY BATTLE

22. BEAT THE SPARTANS
(Holy News / News)

GERARD BUTLER ACCUSED OF ATTACKING PHOTOGRAPHER

23. HOW TO LOSE FANS AND ALIENATE CRITICS
(Holy News / News)

KIRSTEN DUNST TO WRITE HER OWN MUSICAL

24. THE (HARD) CELL
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ HAS NO PROBLEMS WITH SCIENTOLOGY

25. SHE'S A WITCH... BURN HER!
(Holy News / News)

BOND GIRL GEMMA WAS BORN WITH SIX DIGITS ON EACH HAND

26. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

27. ALL LYNNE THE PAST
(Holy News / News)

LYNNE SPEARS IS OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE

28. MEAT THE BEATLES
(Holy News / News)

MACCA'S NEW SQUEEZE NOW A CARD-CARRYING VEGETARIAN

29. THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
(Holy News / News)

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL WON'T BE RELEASED EARLY

30. IS IT ANY BLUNDER
(Holy News / News)

KEANE TO UNVEIL NEW 'FUNKY' DIRECTION