1. PAINTED LOVE
(Holy News / News)

EVAN RACHEL WOOD DISCUSSES HER TATTOOS

2. THIS ISN'T RIGHT, I'M TORN
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY BORRELL LOOKING FOR ROMANCE WITH NATALIE IMBRUGLIA

3. LISTEN UP SUCKERS!
(Holy News / News)

MR T GIVES HIS ADVICE TO MEN ON VALENTINE'S DAY

4. HUBBARD LOVE
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE IS GEARING UP FOR VALENTINE'S DAY

5. Killjoys
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Don't like Christmas? Don't like Valentine's? Offended by the commercialism of it all? Keep your moaning to your fucking self! Don't ruin it for the rest of us. Cheer up for fuck's sake.

6. Valentine's Day
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If there was a grassy lawn that represented romantic virtue, Valentine's Day would be the dog that shat on it.

7. Valentine-flower-buying-guilt-trip cunts
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I had an arrangement not to buy anything for the wife on the commercial bollocks that is Valentine's Day. Then this smug prick opened his mouth. Now I am 60 quid lighter. Spend your own money dick