1. SLIPPERY IN DEBT
(Holy News / News)

BON JOVI SUED FOR 400 BILLION DOLLARS. YES, 400 BILLION DOLLARS

2. LISTEN TO WHAT THE MAN SAID
(Holy News / News)

PAUL MCCARTNEY DREADS RUINING CAREER WITH BAD SONGS. AGAIN.

3. JENNY GETS ANOTHER ROCK
(Holy News / News)

J LO AND MARC ANTHONY RENEW WEDDING VOWS

4. I KNOW WHO MIGHT KILL ME
(Holy News / News)

LINSDAY LOHAN RECEIVES 'BIBLICAL THREATS'

5. NOT A SHARP MOVE
(Holy News / News)

ANGELINA JOLIE BUYS SIX-YEAR-OLD SON HIS 'FIRST KNIFE'

6. MOTHER KNOWS BEST
(Holy News / News)

MYLEENE KLASS LAUNCHES A BABY RANGE

7. FEELING FRUITY
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GELDOF STICKS THE BOOT IN TO STAFF

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

9. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA MAKES UP AN IMPROMPTU SONG ABOUT SARAH PALIN

10. WORST. MARKETING. IDEA. EVER.
(Holy News / News)

'SO CRAP IT'S GOOD' MARKETING HITS ROCK BOTTOM

11. BEAT THE SPARTANS
(Holy News / News)

GERARD BUTLER ACCUSED OF ATTACKING PHOTOGRAPHER

12. THE (HARD) CELL
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ HAS NO PROBLEMS WITH SCIENTOLOGY

13. MARQUEE LOON
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS FALLS FOUL OF PLANNING LAWS AGAIN

14. SINCERITY REPORT
(Holy News / News)

NICOLE KIDMAN ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH TOM CRUISE

15. SHE'S A WITCH... BURN HER!
(Holy News / News)

BOND GIRL GEMMA WAS BORN WITH SIX DIGITS ON EACH HAND

16. OFFSPRING OF GIANT FACE ON MYSPACE
(Holy News / News)

GALAXY-FACED ACTRESS HOSTS NEW BABY PICTURES ON MYSPACE

17. POSH ENDORSES SHIT
(Holy News / News)

BECKHAMS ATTRIBUTE PERFECT COMPLEXIONS TO APPLICATION OF BIRD POO

18. BIRTHDAY MILEY-STONE MILLSTONE
(Holy News / News)

HANNAH MONTANA STAR MILEY CYRUS IS FORCED TO WORK ON HER 16TH BIRTHDAY

19. QUOTE OF THE DAY
(Holy News / News)

JADE GOODY'S WORDS OF WISDOM (PART 2)

20. OBLIGATORY YOOHOO-TUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

JOHN BARROWMAN LAUNCHES NEW SINGLE AND VIDEO

21. ALL LYNNE THE PAST
(Holy News / News)

LYNNE SPEARS IS OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE

22. WALK THE BANK
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

23. MEAT THE BEATLES
(Holy News / News)

MACCA'S NEW SQUEEZE NOW A CARD-CARRYING VEGETARIAN

24. YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM ADMITS THAT MEN DON'T FIND HER SEXY

25. THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
(Holy News / News)

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL WON'T BE RELEASED EARLY

26. IS THIS THE GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD?
(Holy News / News)

If a picture paints 1000 words, then two words added to a picture equals utter amazingness

27. HBO NO-NO
(Holy News / News)

KAYNE WEST TV SHOW 'TOO HARDCORE' TO AIR?

28. OWN GOALY MOLY
(Holy News / News)

JOE KINNEAR'S FOUR LETTER RANT AT JOURNALISTS

29. HELP PROTECT DOLLY PARTON'S 'MOUNTAINS'
(Holy News / News)

Country singer is named as ambassador for the most important mounds in the US

30. THE BOTOX IS ON THE OTHER FOOT
(Holy News / News)

SHARON STONE DENIES SMELLY FEET BOTOX ALLEGATION