1. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

2. HIT MY BABY
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS HEADS OFF TO HELP SISTER GIVE BIRTH

3. OLSEN FUN
(Holy News / News)

THE OLSEN TWINS WERE GIVEN FULL FAT MILK IN THEIR COFFEE

4. A CAR CRASH NAMED 'MISS DIRE'
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS TO APPEAR ON LONDON STAGE?

5. DRIVING AWAY FROM HOME
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS ALLOWED TO DRIVE TO THE FRONT GATES

6. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

7. A MISSISSIPPI YANKEE IN THE COURT
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY LOSES ANOTHER LAWYER

8. BRITNEY'S REAR
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY TOO ILL TO ATTEND DISPOSITION

9. Peaches On Screen
(Holy News / News)

Peaches Geldof gets her own reality show

10. Let It Bean
(Holy News / News)

McCartney's Starbucks sale will not count towards chart placing

11. Coffee aficionados
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The more complicated the Starbucks order, the bigger the cunt. If you walk into a Starbucks and order a "decaf grande half-soy, half-low fat, iced vanilla, double-shot, gingerbread cappuccino, extra

12. Laptop users in Starbucks
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Do I even need to explain why these cunts are cunts? Cunts.

13. People that drink coffee in the pub
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"Erm yes a decaff latte please" order a pint or fuck off back to Starbucks, namby pamby cunts!

14. Scene kids on MySpace
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"I swear i am like, totally addicted to starbucks, innit blad!" "Yeah blad! im like well addicted to stuff" "Me too blad, it's like the other day right i was sitting in Pret and like i became ad

15. Starbucks
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

£3.30 for a cup of millk and syrup and I STILL go back for more, what have they laced it with eh?

16. Starbucks customers ordering drinks 'wet
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

How the FUCK can you stand there in front of everyone else in the queue and order a WET tall chai tea latte...What the fuck is that? And if it isn't wet, does it come out in sand form? What the fuc

17. Starbucks Dwellers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Latte slurping, two-handed cup holding, coffee-blowing, Starbucks-dwelling cunts. Just drink it, and fuck off.

18. Starbucks poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

'Wet' means no froth.If you want all froth,you can ask for it 'Dry'.Like your girlfriend.

19. Starbucks poster poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Why not say froth or no froth then you pretentious twats? You, sir, are the cunt.

20. Starbucks.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"I'll have a cup of tea please." "Would you like Refresh, Darjeeling, English Breakfast, Citron, Earl Grey, Calm, Tazo Chai ot Zen tea?" "Do you just have normal tea?" "Erm, no" "Cunt." And the

21. When buying coffee at your favourite Starbucks/Cos...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

When buying coffee at your favourite Starbucks/Costa/Nero/McDonalds, the temperature at which it is served is inversely proportional to the amount of time you have to drink it in.

22. Nobody drinking in a Starbucks is as important as ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Nobody drinking in a Starbucks is as important as they think they are.

23. Note to Peta: Getting the Chinese to stop eating c...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Note to Peta: Getting the Chinese to stop eating cats and dogs is like getting Starbucks to stop selling coffee.