1. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

2. I AM FOOTY LEGEND
(Holy News / News)

WILL SMITH BEGS BECKHAM TO HELP HIM PLAY 'SOCCER'

3. WHEN HOLY MOLY WENT TO THE SOCCER SIX
(Holy News / VIDEO)

HM MEETS S CLUB'S BRADLEY AND ANDY SCOTT LEE

4. AT THE END OF THE DAY THE BREAST TEAM WON
(Holy News / News)

SOCCER SIX TOURNAMENT GOES ON

5. PEE-T DOHERTY
(Holy News / News)

DOHERTY IN PISS-ADDING PRANK AT STADIUM

6. OBLIGATORY CELEBRITY GALLERY
(Holy News / News)

WHEN Z-LIST CELEBRITIES PLAY FOOTBALL

7. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. DAVIZZLE BECKIZZLE
(Holy News / News)

PALS SNOOP AND BECKS TO RELEASE SLIPPER RANGE

9. DAY 13: I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

GOODBYE RODDERS

10. DAY 11: I'M A CELEBRITY GET ME OUT OF HERE
(Holy News / Im a Celebrity)

KATIE HOPKINS LEAVES THE JUNGLE

11. BIG WRONG, ATKINSON
(Holy News / News)

GEMMA ATKINSON DROPS CRISTIANO RONALDO

12. Give me a 'C'. Give me a 'U'...
(Holy News / News)

Victoria Beckham to be a cheerleader

13. Soccer AM's New Host revealed
(Holy News / News)

New host of Sky's Soccer AM revealed

14. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

15. HM EXCLUSIVE!
(Holy News / News)

HM EXCLUSIVE!

16. Advertisements linking third-world kids
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...written off, or funding for AIDS? Certainly not them. Oooh here comes David Beckham, as he would, playing soccer with the little starving cherubs. Somehow this means we ought to go buy a shoe their mu...

17. Andy Gray
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Soccer pundit my arse... "Oooh Richard, he should have done this". "Oooh Richard, he should nae have done that".... we all have 20-20 vision with hindsight you CUNT!

18. David Beckham's Soccer Schools
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For setting up a soccer school in Rio De Janeiro. Brazil qualify for every major international tournament, and usually go on and win it. If there is one thing Brazil doesn't need it's lessons form the

19. Gilette Soccer Saturday
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For going from incomprehensible jock to incomprehensible jock who fail to inform me about the myriad matches because I can’t understand a fucking word they are saying without subtitle

20. Helen Chamberlain
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Many things, but particularly this conversation from Soccer am Saturday morning: Helen to MK Dons supporter: How excited are you on a scale of 1 to 10? Supporter: 11 Helen: Spinal Tap reference the

21. People who say ''soccer''
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If you're non-American it's Football. Soccer is a word the yanks use because they already have a Football. We call it Football and have done for a couple of hundred years. So please stop trying to be

22. Pro Evolution Soccer 5
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

This cunt of a game should come with a 'addictive as crack' warning. This game has left me going to sleep at 6 in the morning for the past 2 months. Great game,but still a cunt.

23. SKINS
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Parties, drugs and wild sex? The most excitement i had at 16 was a game of Sensible Soccer and a wank in a sock

24. Soccer Aid
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Hugely expensive and unnecessary waste of our fucking time dressed up as charidee when all it is is another pathetic excuse to parade a bunch of useless fuckers on a football pitch. Take your celebrit

25. soccer am
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

its about football not teenage bands with bad haircuts and your attempt at comedy bring back tim lovejoy

26. Soccer Aid
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Despite being perennially shit, the shirts coming off at the end continues to be the best bit.

27. Soccer AM
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For getting rid of that tedious fucknut Andy Goldstein.

28. Soccer AM can now be added alonside Viz and The Gu...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Soccer AM can now be added alonside Viz and The Guardian on the "list of things people have stoilen jokes from to pass them off as their own rules" I'm looking at you Ratatoullie Welsh accent person

29. Soccer AM can now be added to the list of bastards...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Soccer AM can now be added to the list of bastards that have stolen jokes from other shows, namely bonkers, early 90's Scottish sketch show 'Absolutely'.

30. There is always one fat lad in the Luther Blissett...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

There is always one fat lad in the Luther Blissett stand on Soccer AM