1. THE MAN WHO WASN'T THERE
(Holy News / News)

GHOST HELPS BILLY BOB THORNTON WRITE HIS SONGS

2. THE KIDS AREN'T ALRIGHT
(Holy News / News)

WHITNEY HOUSTON'S DAUGHTER ATTEMPTS SUICIDE

3. AMY'S KNOCKIN' ON HEAVEN'S DOOR
(Holy News / News)

SLASH WORRIES ABOUT AMY WINEHOUSE'S FUTURE

4. PEPPER PLOT
(Holy News / News)

DR PEPPER MAKE AXL ROSE AN ENTICING OFFER

5. MAN COMES TO SENSES
(Holy News / News)

PAPARAZZO QUITS OVER BRITNEY DRAMA

6. SLASH CORDON
(Holy News / News)

SLASH REFUSED TO ALLOW MICHAEL JACKSON NEAR HIS CHILD

7. HM APPROVED!
(Holy News)

GUITAR PLAYERS SHRED

8. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

9. THE EMANCIPATION OF WEE-WEE
(Holy News / News)

MARIAH CAREY THINKS YOU WANT TO WATCH

10. Quote of the gay: Angelina Jolie
(Holy News / News)

Angelina Jolie give up ladies for Brad Pitt

11. Day 27: June 26th
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Sean acts like a very simple person.

12. why the smug face?
(Holy News / News)

Victoria Beckham's Six Episode TV Series hacked to 1hr 'special'

13. Jade Goody Isn't Racist, Apparently
(Holy News / News)

Jade Goody testifies in court against a woman who attacked a young, black singer

14. Jade Goody Isn't Racist, Apparently
(Holy News / News)

Jade Goody Isn't Racist, Apparently

15. SNOW DIN
(Holy News / News)

Snow Patrol unoriginal ideas

16. snow din
(Holy News / News)

snow din

17. Channel 4 Radio competition
(Holy News / News)

Channel 4 Radio competition

18. L'oreal Vita Lift Poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...and show me a woman who has the first clue or gives a tuppeny fuck what ceremides slash pro-retinol slash jojoba is and I'll show you my arsehole live in Harrods shop window.

19. People who shit at work
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

There's nothing worse than going into the bathroom at work to have a quick slash and discovering there is someone in there taking a dump. The urinal has people using it so I nip into the spare cubicl

20. Self Harm
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Oh boo fucking hoo, my life is so hard that I feel the need to slash my veins at every opportunity, and then proceed to proudly display the wretchedly ugly scars like little twisted trophies. FUCK OFF

21. Slash
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Just a shit American version of Brian May

22. Small Heineken Kegs
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... endless supply of dutch loud mouth soup. BUT FUCK NO! Reality = eight to ten jars full of frothy rats slash that wouldn't even be used for as replacement piss in a yellow film! Cunts!...

23. The Credit Crunch
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ting to piss me off. Pick up a news paper and its all doom and gloom, banks going to the wall, profits slashed, profit warnings, unavailability of credit, job losses and my favourite fucking subject...

24. Tony Blair on Comic Relief
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...few minutes in the history of television. Makes Richard Madeley doing Ali G and Paula Radcliffe taking a slash in the gutter look like fucking Planet Earth! Not only has he lost his grip on his own pa...

25. Biker Whose Penis Hit By Lightening
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Last thing he recalls was "standing having a slash" then wakens up in hospital to find his rubber boots had saved his life...but his penis had 'earthed' the lightening bolt!... Docs reckon he'll mend

26. Japanese ''washlet'' toilets.
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...an control the pressure from mild rinse to enema level. Fucking amazing. Even if I`m just in need of a slash I sit down for the full performance. And given the Japanese obsession with cleanliness ...

27. Tooth Fairy
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...ore I cleaned out his flat the next day Fucking hell it worked again! Day of his funeral there I am slashing his mattress open with a knife and out drops 5 grand, Fucking result!...

28. Nobody has ever felt the urge to 'visit bbc.co.uk ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Nobody has ever felt the urge to 'visit bbc.co.uk forward slash bargainhunt to see how the program was made'

29. GUITAR SHREDDING
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...we 'Clapton'. fNoZg9kl-zE Or you 'Santana' EEwIRZ9pLCM Or you 'Slash' ttaqVd0rOjA Or you 'Metallica'. To waste your entire afternoon...