1. IRON-DEFICIENT MAIDEN
(Holy News / News)

GWYNETH PALTROW TO STAR IN THE WEST END THIS AUTUMN

2. OUT, DAMNED CLOT!
(Holy News / News)

IRISH THEATRE COMPANY PLAN A BECKHAM MUSICAL

3. BOOB DU JOUR
(Holy News / News)

BILLIE PIPER WORRIES NUDITY MAY SCUPPER HOLLYWOOD SUCCESS

4. DUSTIN WHIFFMAN
(Holy News / News)

RAINMAN STAR SAYS FART IS HIS FAVOURITE BIT OF ACTING

5. LITERALLY BARKING UP THE WRONG TREE
(Holy News / News)

LILY ALLEN HAD A CRUSH ON STEPHEN GATELY

6. THE DAY THE MUSIC CRIED
(Holy News / News)

BOYZONE TO REFORM AND FURTHER ALBUMS NOT RULED OUT

7. PUSH THE BUTTOCKS
(Holy News / News)

WHAT ARE YOUR THOUGHTS ON HEIDI RANGE'S REAR?

8. IT'S BALL OVER NOW
(Holy News / News)

MICK JAGGER IS OBSESSED WITH CASTRATI

9. Big Brother: The End
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Brian comes out victorious

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

12. Day 43: July 12th
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Brian is thick as shit but the favourite to win.

13. Did Shakespeare Die For This?
(Holy News / News)

Pete Doherty in book-signing attempt

14. Day 27: June 26th
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Sean acts like a very simple person.

15. Day 26: June 25th
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Chanelle and Ziggy argue over blackheads. And that roughly sums it up.

16. Lindsay Lo-hamlet
(Holy News / News)

Lindsay Lohan's lawyer defends her against drug charges by quoting Shakespeare

17. Martin Bauam
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The 'satirist' who has translated 15 Shakespeare plays into 'chav speak'. What a ridiculously time consuming cunty thing to do. Why didn't you spend that time more constructively by constructing a gal

18. Reverand and the Makers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The singer is a deluded mess, thinking his band are the musical equivalent of Shakespeare. They've got a record contract off the back of his friends the Arctic Monkeys. Made even more obvious by their

19. Shakespeare
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

To be or not to be? What kind of a fucking question is that? This fruit is the reason thousands of schoolkids are slipping the toaster in the bath in the grim hope that bastard is in hell somewhere wr

20. No amount of monkeys and typewriters will ever wri...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

No amount of monkeys and typewriters will ever write the complete works of Shakespeare, as evidenced by Holy Moly.