1. WHAT-CHOO-CHOO TALKIN’ ABOUT?
(Holy News / News)

MORE HEARTBREAK FOR GARY COLEMAN

2. CRAZY CRAZY FIGHTS
(Holy News / News)

GENE SIMMONS TAKES ON 'ENTITIES' OVER SEX TAPE

3. DRESSED TO KILL (THE MOOD)
(Holy News / News)

GENE SIMMONS SEX TAPE APPEARS

4. COLEMAN'S FLUSTERED
(Holy News / News)

GARY COLEMAN GOT MARRIED

5. Britney hires young boys
(Holy News / News)

Britney Spears fondles an escort in a swimming pool

6. She Drives Me Crazy
(Holy News / News)

Britney Spears blames her behaviour on a hapless assistant

7. holy moly talks women's fashion...
(Holy News / News)

Oscar ceremony dresses

8. holy moly talks women's fashion...
(Holy News / News)

What everyone was wearing at the Oscars

9. Channel 4
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For bumping "my name is Earl" in favour of Shannon Fucking Matthews and a Tranny Para.

10. Daily Mirror forum users.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If the Daily Mirror wasn't banning topics about Shannon Matthews the internet would have literally ground to a halt with that bunch of ill-informed cunts. Also, LOL @ the whole Shannon Matthews thing

11. The sneering media
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

So in Dewsbury they celebrated Shannon Mathew's release with "lager and cheap wine". What the fuck did you think they'd do, crack open a bottle of Bolly and bring out the best crystal. It's the sent

12. Crown Prosecution Service
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For pulling a blinding hat trick after years of disappointment, pete doherty, craig meehan, shannon matthews hope they follow up with 2 years in pokey for that cunt naomi campbell

13. Shannon Matthews
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Hide-and-Seek champion, 2008

14. You dont have to be a Daily Mail reader to believe...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

You dont have to be a Daily Mail reader to believe that Shannon Matthews' family are everything that is wrong with this country.

15. Sadly, the police costs for the inevitable disorde...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

... the police costs for the inevitable disorder and council clean-up costs for the impromptu celebration for Shannon Matthew's safe discovery will outweigh the costs of searching for her in the first pl...

16. The Shannon Matthews case is only going to be fini...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

The Shannon Matthews case is only going to be finished when everyone in the family is in jail for perverting the course of justice or on the sex offenders register. Including, probably, Shannon herse

17. "Shannon Matthews: the Movie" A gripping heist ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

"Shannon Matthews: the Movie" A gripping heist movie that's got the lot - kidnapping, paedophilia, cheap lager, kiddie porn, pink tracksuits, chav accents and utter stupidity. Karen Matthews (Jo

18. For the next 5 years at least, no new baby girl wi...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

For the next 5 years at least, no new baby girl with be christened Madeleine or Shannon