1. A SQUINTER'S TALE
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON MAKES A VISIT TO SELFRIDGES

2. QUESTION!
(Holy News / News)

3. A Tramp In The BB Line Up? Surely Not!
(Holy News / News)

Glamour Model Lucy James Set for Big Brother?

4. Peaches Geldof
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

..."Miss Selfridge"(My arse - the nearest she's been to a high street store is scurrying past the concessions in Selfridges, on her way to Marc Jacobs). God help us, because she hasn't left school yet, ...

5. Stacey out of Eastenders
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

I saw her on saturday in selfridges. She looks every bit the cheap little slut that she does on TV. Good girl.