1. GLAMOUR URINE EXTRACTION SUCKERS NATION SURELY
(Holy News / News)

GLAMOUR AWARDS IN WORLD'S MOST RIDICULOUS WINNERS LIST SHOCKER

2. PHOTO GALLERY OF BRIT NOMINEES
(Holy News / News)

BRIT AWARD PREDICTIONS

3. TO MY BLAKE INCARCERATED!
(Holy News / News)

A SELECTION OF VIDEOS FROM THE GRAMMYS

4. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. AVRIL BLOODY LAVIGNE?
(Holy News / News)

AND THE MTV EMA WINNERS ARE

7. Mika Goes West, Goes Home
(Holy News / News)

Mika leaves Kanye West's aftershow because of the music

8. Brolly Poor Show
(Holy News / News)

Rihanna is to launch her own range of umbrellas

9. GETTING SLIGHTLY TEDIOUS NOW
(Holy News / News)

Amy Winehouse peddles her husband out for another photocall

10. E4 schedulers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...out i return home and end up watching "Anything Goes" videos, decide to have a come down wank over the new Rhianna video, THEN as i'm on the home straight some bastard at E4 decides the next video is ...

11. MOBO Awards
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Sinitta and Frank Bruno presenting the award for Best International Female to an absent Rhianna who can only leave a voice message and not a video message. Just dire.

12. Most Of You
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...takes without having a sharp fountain pen thrust into her whiney fucking throat, every time Peter Andre or Rhianna can walk among us with little or no fear of being buried in the shit they foist upon ...