1. MOVIE STAR MITCH
(Holy News / News)

MITCH WINEHOUSE TO APPEAR IN FILM

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

3. OOPS... I DID IT ON PURPOSE
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY HAS CREATED HER OWN ECONOMY

4. Lindsay Lohan Wants To Play Princess Diana
(Holy News / News)

Hollywood actress Lindsay Lohan wants to play Diana, Princess of Wales in a biopic of the late Royal

5. Middle Class Ho-moaners
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...state agents, snapping up every "affordable" beach hut, dog kennel or hamster cage to add to your buy-to-let portfolio - though, as artists and models also have portfolios, you're in good cuntish comp...

6. The word 'Could'
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

..., you could. That is, if i were to do what you bastards do, and call every other insurance company with a portfolio of details, pick the most fucking extortionate quote for said details, and compar...

7. Kate Hoey
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...el words. Feet on the ground, head screwed on the right way. That's why she'll never got more that the Sport portfolio and will probably never see Cabinet again. What's more, she belongs to the party ...