1. SPORTY BECOMES BABY
(Holy News / News)

MEL C IS PREGNANT!

2. GOODY GRIEF
(Holy News / News)

JADE GOODY HAS 50k WORTH OF JEWELLERY STOLEN

3. LIKE A VIRGIN HIGH?
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA PLANS TO BUILD A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR SCHOOL IN MALAWI

4. TOTALLY NOT JODIE MARSH'S REAL BREASTS
(Holy News / News)

WE RUIN AN EXCLUSIVE FOR JODIE MARSH

5. DREAMLOVER
(Holy News / News)

MARIAH DESCRIBES HERSELF AS AN 'ATM MACHINE WITH A WIG'

6. TART FOR ART'S SAKE
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN'S MOTHER APPLAUDS 'TASTEFUL' NUDE PHOTOS

7. CRUZ CONTROLS THE DANCEFLOOR
(Holy News / News)

CRUZ BECKHAM BREAKDANCES AT SPICE GIRLS CONCERT

8. THE WIT AND WISDOM OF PARIS HILTON
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON SHARES HER THOUGHTS ON THE WORLD

9. HE MADE ME SAY THIS
(Holy News / News)

KATIE HOLMES REVEALS WHY SHE LOVES TOM CRUISE

10. SEIN-TOLOGY
(Holy News / News)

JERRY SEINFELD THANKS SCIENTOLOGY FOR HELPING HIS CAREER

11. FLASH BOREDOM
(Holy News / News)

THE REASON WHY BRITNEY DOESN'T WEAR KNICKERS IS REVEALED

12. LOVE HAS THE DRUG?
(Holy News / News)

COURTNEY LOVE DENIES SHE GAVE DRUGS TO JACK OSBOURNE

13. PEACHES ON PARADE
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GELDOF MODELS FOR PPQ

14. www.uglyoldtwat.co.uk
(Holy News / News)

Andrew Lloyd Webber avoids technology

15. Wannabeer?
(Holy News / News)

Mel C bans booze from the Spice Girls tour

16. She's had that? In there?
(Holy News / News)

Who's been in Jodie Marsh's mouth?

17. Truth Or Bareback
(Holy News / News)

Madonna 'almost' had sex with JFK Junior

18. Christina Ricci: Naked On Set
(Holy News / News)

Christina Ricci spends two days on the set of Black Snake Moan completely naked to get into characte

19. Welcome To The In The Red Parade
(Holy News / News)

My Chemical Romance break the bank by spunking all their tour money on pyrotechnics

20. Welcome To The In The Red Parade
(Holy News / News)

My Chemical Romance pun competition

21. HM Monkey (again)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... then have to face the day, ego deflated, feeling about as comfortable as Jim Davidson at the Berlin Love parade knowing that i have been once again dissed... You 'orrible simian bastards!! ...

22. My Chemical Romance
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ting with the mongs. None of this sit-in-the-corner-cry-with-your-girlfriend-mopey shite. 'Join the Black Parade'? What the fuck?! Send them all to the front line! Whiney, American, Dawson's Creek CUN...

23. Oprah Winfrey
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

When you paraded that wheelbarrow full of fat on your poor excuse for a show, showing how much weight you had lost, did it never occur to you to stop eating pies. Then you wouldn't have returned to

24. School
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For not being a bloody fashion parade. So I was told repeatedly by my parents therefore had to wear shit trainers and that. This meant I was bullied by the cool kids and I now have very low self estee

25. Soccer Aid
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...unnecessary waste of our fucking time dressed up as charidee when all it is is another pathetic excuse to parade a bunch of useless fuckers on a football pitch. Take your celebrity football matches, a...

26. Stefan Kuntz
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... German B: Played international football. C: German international footballer who pissed on our Euro '96 parade, taking England to that inevitable, eventual exit on penalties. 10 years gone and still...

27. Surf t -shirts
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Ok it's good the sun's out, but I don't want to see your man boobs and massive gut paraded in a surf t-shirt. You could capsize a cruise liner, so how on earth would you mount a surfboard. Think abou

28. Teenage girls in the gym
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...or them, then saunter out, having not dropped one bead of sweat. Ladies, this is a gym, not a fashion parade. Why not spend your mum's fiver elsewhere, like on a new top from Primark or a MacDonal...

29. Alishesa Dixon
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...t a Holy Moly story yesterday about Peaches Geldof replied yeah fuckin silly little whore. I would hold a parade for this woman right now...

30. Old Soldiers
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Christ,watched the rememberance parade on tv today. Some old boy of 91 marching along with his old pals, spring in his step and a chest full of medals. Then another old fella talking about how his bro