1. I DON'T LIKE BIRTHDAYS
(Holy News / News)

PIXIE GELDOF CELEBRATES COMING OF AGE WITH SHAMBOLIC NIGHT OUT

2. A PEACH OF SALT
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GELDOF MARRIED 'BECAUSE OF GRIEF'

3. SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER
(Holy News / News)

THE KIDS ARE OUT FOR THE BT HOME HUB PARTY

4. WHO HAS THE THIRD NIPPLE?
(Holy News / News)

GUESS WHO HAS THREE NIPPLES

5. WHO ON EARTH IS THAT?
(Holy News / News)

GUESS WHO THIS UNFORTUNATE FACE BELONGS TO

6. OBLIGATORY CELEBRITY GALLERY
(Holy News / News)

WHEN Z-LIST CELEBRITIES PLAY FOOTBALL

7. THIS ISN'T RIGHT, I'M TORN
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY BORRELL LOOKING FOR ROMANCE WITH NATALIE IMBRUGLIA

8. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

RUMER WILLIS GETS THE BOOT FROM A US CLUB

9. BORRELL ISSUES
(Holy News / News)

HARRY POTTER STAR SPOTTED WITH RAZORLIGHT MAN

10. BROWN WHINGE
(Holy News / News)

LILY ALLEN WANTS GORDON BROWN TO BAN THE PAPARAZZI

11. I THINK I'LL MANAGE
(Holy News / News)

JOSS STONE IS HAPPY WITHOUT A MANAGER

12. TURN ON, TUNE IN, DROP OFF
(Holy News / News)

BOB GELDOF LAUNCHES NEW TV STATION

13. SAINT MISBEHAVIN'
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL HUTCHENCE'S MOTHER BRANDS BOB GELDOF 'SATAN'

14. Can’t Get You Out Of My Pants
(Holy News / News)

Is Kylie back with Olivier and does anyone care anymore?

15. Pixie's Clubber Culture
(Holy News / News)

Pixie Geldof pretends to be older sister Peaches to get into clubs

16. What Is The Point Of This Person?
(Holy News / News)

What is the point of Bob Geldof's daughter, Peaches?

17. Flatmates
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Bog Roll and Cleaning Products don't get delivered by little pixies during the night you fuckers. Put your hand in your pockets and chip in you cheap bastards. And while we're at it, stop nicking my b

18. Noel Fielding
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"snogging and groping" Pixie Geldof. Jesus man you''re twice her age you publicity seeking absolute cunt

19. Pixie Geldof
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

When are you gonna realise hanging out with 33yr old druggy comedians is not cool. Now put some more clothes on and go and do your homework, Child.

20. Sir Bob Geldof
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...take up with a 33 yr old fame hungry comedian who rates Charlie and Henry his best friends. Just say no, Pixie, Fielding et al. Just keep the bouffant haired comic away from Tigerlily....

21. Tatler
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

'Pixie Geldof, younger sister of tabloid favourite Peaches, has been hailed the 'coolest girl in town' by British society magazine Tatler'...If this lazy, work shy little bitch was working class, do y

22. David Lovering
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Despite being the Pixies' drummer,he is also a "Scientific Phenomenalist" which is a lot cooler job title than i have.

23. Joey Santiago
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Every other member of the Pixies is listed individually, even the drummer. But not him. I want to right that wrong.

24. Lowry Turner
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...igion, to name just a few. It's beyond me how she manages to contain all this information in that little pixie-like head of hers. She's an inspiration to all us lesser people. God bless her....

25. Matt Bellamy
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Multi-talented bonkers paranoid sexy rock pixie who can shag a guitar sideways. Plus he owns a jetpack. Man of my sweaty dreams.

26. The Pixies
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For generally being cool-as-fuck despite being in their forties, fat and bald, and writing about stuff like incest.

27. The Pixies
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Black Francis and Co blow the fucking competition out of the water still. Nothing comes close. Could do with some more albums though...

28. Everytime the Pixies play 'Something against you' ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Everytime the Pixies play 'Something against you' live, they tear the universe a new arsehole.

29. Holy Moly clearly likes the Pixies. Which is a goo...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Holy Moly clearly likes the Pixies. Which is a good thing.