1. CAN BUY ME LOVE
(Holy News / News)

MILLS AND MCCARTNEY GO TO COURT FOR DIVORCE SETTLEMENT

2. BEST EXCUSE IN THE BOOK
(Holy News / News)

CHRIS LANGHAM DENIES HE IS A PAEDOPHILE

3. I DIDN'T FIGHT THE LAW...
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW SPEAKS ABOUT HIS ALLEGED ATTACK ON A PHOTOGRAPHER

4. Jokey Bacon
(Holy News / News)

Kevin Bacon wants to show his lighter side

5. AND WE'RE OFF..!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Latest housemates enter the big brother house

6. Government
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"Paedophiles are going to be forced to disclose their email addresses", well fuck me that will have them running for the hills. What cunt is being overpaid to come up with that one?

7. Jarvis Cocker
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What happened? Jarvis has gone from dressing in an eccentric yet witty manner to looking like a cartoon paedophile - grubby cardigan, lank and stringy hair and leering grin. I half expect his next TV

8. Maddie: The Movie
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...s and find their daughter Maddie (Hayden Pantierre) has been kidnapped by IIIIRRRAAAAQQQQAAAAAYYYY Terrorrist Paedophiles, led by the clearly english Jeremy Irons. The American G.I.s headed by Matt D...

9. Paedophiles
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

It may be hard for the home office to track the depraved cunts, but it would be easy to keep a track of their bollocks if they were in a jar in a pathology lab.

10. scene kids on myspace poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

what middle aged person has a myspace? a paedophile or someone in a washed up band. and mr ''i like to browse kidddies sites'' should go on the sex offenders register or at least tom''s bad list pr

11. Teenage sisters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...pain" of everything you're "going through". You're a smug little tramp-ho shagging an old and fucking ugly paedophile knobhead who can't get a job - not because he's "too specialist" but because he...

12. The Director of the film Babel
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...wall while his brother (who is a shit shot) tries to shoot random things with a rifle then ill join a fucking paedophile ring or something. What the fuck were u thinking Mr Director. And as for Brad P...

13. Supernatural
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...iest car with the low sensual rumbling sounds of an African elephant who's got the horn and it makes me think paedophile thoughts about the fine young boys who drive around in it. I'd do the dad too,...

14. Anyone over the age of thirty-five that buys anyth...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Anyone over the age of thirty-five that buys anything from Games Workshop is probably a paedophile.

15. Every regional TV news programme has at least one ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Every regional TV news programme has at least one presenter who looks like a paedophile.

16. Wethers Toffees are the weapon of choice for most ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Wethers Toffees are the weapon of choice for most Paedophiles.

17. All paedophiles look uncannily similar....
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

All paedophiles look uncannily similar.

18.