1. THE MASTURBATION OLYMPICS
(Holy News / VIDEO)

GET CAPE WEAR CAPE FLY TALKS RELIGION AND THE OLYMPICS

2. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

3. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BAMBYSHABLES

4. OLYMPIC-SIZED EGO
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ SLIGHTED BY SOME SWIMMER

5. HOORAY FOR THE OLYMPICS!
(Holy News / News)

OLYMPIC COVERAGE OF WOMEN'S BEACH VOLLEYBALL (AND FENCING)

6. DIDDY: I AM KING OF SEX!
(Holy News / News)

P DIDDY SAYS HE WOULD WIN THE OLYMPICS OF SEX

7. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. RIDING JORDAN
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN'S DRESSAGE DEBUT

9. HAVING A MARE!
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN GETS A HORSE FOR HER BIRTHDAY

10. SPICE UP YOUR SEX LIFE
(Holy News / News)

MEL B TALKS ABOUT HER OLYMPIC STANDARD SEX

11. For You Tom, Ze Velcome Is Over
(Holy News / News)

Tom Cruise attacked by German Church

12. BRILLIANT WORK!
(Holy News / News)

Goatse ends up on the BBC website

13. Beat the star
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...t a perspex box. It'd be alright if they were having a laugh, but they seemed to think it was worthy of the Olympics. Also, where the fuck do they get the crowds to cheer on these cuntwits? ...

14. BMX in the Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

By 2026 tree climbing, dead arm competitions and runouts will also be Olympic sports

15. Boris Johnson at the Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Button up your jacket and take your fucking hands out your pockets, you shambolic cunt!

16. Britain's Olympic BMX girl
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...hampion. I've beaten everyone else at the world cup. I'm the best. I helped design the track for the Bejing Olympics. This is my race to lose...." ...Falls over on first bend....

17. Cow Bell Ringers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If I was a skier at the winter olympics, hurtling down a slippery slope at 90mph on two strips of plastic, I doubt I'd ever find the sound of cowbells motivating. Why? Why? I mean....why? Why would

18. Geeks
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Take your Merrell trainers, your Next fleece, your thinning hair and your boring conversation about the Olympics and just fuck off!

19. London Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Suggestion for a mascot for London 2012 - needs to be something that epitomises the culture and identity of the host country. Knife-wielding teenage eastern European prositute drug-dealer married to

20. Madonna at 50
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Seriously, who gives a shit, what does she want, a fucking medal? (Ditto 14 year old diving geek at the Olympics)

21. maestro bbc1
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ulture and make it low brow for eastender watching brain doners, i know better still, lets do away with the olympics and put all the athletes on a global network with a wii, what will these cunts thin...

22. McDonald's
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e orient? Why? If I wanted that, I'd go to a Chinese takeaway. Oh hang on...this is all to tie in with the Olympics, which you partner with your dedication to healthy and active lifestyles, I see now...

23. Seb Coe
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...any various reasons (and the fatc he is just an utter cunt) but at the moment for saying yesterday that the olympics being held in Beijing was not an appropriate occasion for people to air their polit...

24. TFL
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...d turning a half hour journey into a 2 hour one. They probably think London will be 'ready' for the 2012 Olympics. Dream on you cocksucking motherfuckers. Cunts. ...

25. The Commonwealth Games
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... daily TV viewing? It's not as if anyone is remotely interested in some idiots on tv trying to win the shit-olympics!...

26. The Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

£9 Billion, eh? Nice to see the government have got their priorities straight. A woeful shortage of prisons in this country and we're rebuilding Stratford so we all have the opportunity to watch

27. The Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I can understand you going over budget by a couple of hundred thousand. I can't understand you going over budget by £4.6 billion, though. You fucking morons. Blair: if I spent over £50 on my tra

28. The Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Nine fucking billion that we'll be paying through the nose for in taxes until we die. Then we'll suffer endless frustration on public transport. Iniquitous cunts.

29. the olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

3 weeks of wank

30. the olympics (2)
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

have it in my back garden, that will stuff the cunts. (no boats though)