1. WIN THREE PAIRS OF TICKETS FOR PREMIERE OF DEAD SET
(Holy News / Competition)

THREE PAIRS OF DEAD SET PREMIERE TICKETS UP FOR GRABS

2. NOT-SO-EASY RIDER
(Holy News / News)

JACK NICHOLSON EMBARRASSED BY OLD AGE

3. THIN, LOOS OR BOAR
(Holy News / News)

REBECCA LOOS STILL ALIVE. YAWN

4. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

5. UNSTICKY AND SOUR
(Holy News / News)

MADGE AND GUY ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE DIVORCE

6. IT'S THE EBAY-CKHAMS
(Holy News / News)

BECKHAMS ROBBED. CUE NELSON FROM THE SIMPSONS 'HAH! HAH!' NOISE

7. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. FIGHTING TALK
(Holy News / News)

PAMELA ANDERSON CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY JORDAN IS FAMOUS. HELLO, MCFLY?

9. DESPERATE DENIALS
(Holy News / News)

EVA LONGORIA CLAIMS SIZE ZERO STATUS DESPITE RECENT EXPANSION

10. SLIPPERY IN DEBT
(Holy News / News)

BON JOVI SUED FOR 400 BILLION DOLLARS. YES, 400 BILLION DOLLARS

11. FAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT
(Holy News / News)

RICKY GERVAIS NEVER LEAVES HIS HOUSE TO EXERCISE

12. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

13. LISTEN TO WHAT THE MAN SAID
(Holy News / News)

PAUL MCCARTNEY DREADS RUINING CAREER WITH BAD SONGS. AGAIN.

14. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

BRITNEY SPEARS NAKED IN WOMANIZER VIDEO

15. JENNY GETS ANOTHER ROCK
(Holy News / News)

J LO AND MARC ANTHONY RENEW WEDDING VOWS

16. MOTHER KNOWS BEST
(Holy News / News)

MYLEENE KLASS LAUNCHES A BABY RANGE

17. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

18. SPIDEY BLOODY SPIDEY
(Holy News / News)

BONO'S MUSICAL EXPECTED TO COST $40M

19. LITERALLY 'LITERALLY AMAZING'
(Holy News / News)

TAKE ON ME - LIT-ER-ALLY

20. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

21. GIRLFIGHT
(Holy News / News)

MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IN SEX TOY BATTLE

22. BABY TWO MORE TIMES...
(Holy News / News)

JAMIE LYNN SPEARS RUMOURED TO PREGNANT AGAIN

23. ROLAND TWAT
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY TO LOCK HIMSELF IN A RAT-FILLED COFFIN

24. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

25. SINCERITY REPORT
(Holy News / News)

NICOLE KIDMAN ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH TOM CRUISE

26. OFFSPRING OF GIANT FACE ON MYSPACE
(Holy News / News)

GALAXY-FACED ACTRESS HOSTS NEW BABY PICTURES ON MYSPACE

27. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

28. OBLIGATORY YOOHOO-TUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

JOHN BARROWMAN LAUNCHES NEW SINGLE AND VIDEO

29. WALK THE BANK
(Holy News / News)

JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

30. MEAT THE BEATLES
(Holy News / News)

MACCA'S NEW SQUEEZE NOW A CARD-CARRYING VEGETARIAN