1. HOLY MOLY WORLD EXCLUSIVE: MADONNA TO DIVORCE GUY
(Holy News / News)

Madonna hires McCartney Lawyer to negotiate divorce from Guy Ritchie

2. TERRIBLE LIEUTENANT
(Holy News / News)

NICHOLAS CAGE TO STAR IN 'BAD LIEUTENANT' REMAKE

3. CHINA WHITE DELIGHT
(Holy News / News)

Z-LISTERS GO OUT TO CHINA WHITE

4. SERIES ONE AND TWO OF SKINS TO BE WON
(Holy News / Competition)

SKINS DVDS UP FOR GRABS

5. HOLY MOLY GOES TO THE BAFTAS
(Holy News / VIDEO)

HOLY MOLY GETS SKINS GAY GOSSIP AND NEWS ON LILY AND JAMES CORDEN

6. SKIN TO SKIN
(Holy News / News)

NICHOLAS HOULT EXCLUSIVELY REVEALS ABOUT HIS GAY RELATIONSHIP

7. DON'T YOU KNOW WHO I AM?
(Holy News / News)

NME AFTERSHOW GUESTS REFUSED ENTRY TO PARTY

8. A TURNER FOR THE WORST
(Holy News / News)

KATHLEEN TURNER VERSUS NIC CAGE PART TWO

9. SEETHING LAS VEGAS
(Holy News / News)

NIC CAGE SUES KATHLEEN TURNER OVER BOOK ALLEGATIONS

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

12. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

13. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S BEEN HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

14. Disaster Narrowly Avoided
(Holy News / News)

Most shoehorned press release of the day goes to...

15. Tom Cruise: Latest Victim of Celebrity Stalker
(Holy News / News)

Tom Cruise falls victim to celebrity stalker Emily Diane Leatherman who is arrested outside his home

16. Nicholas Cage
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I am still waiting for an apology from him after I rented the ‘Wicker Man’ a few months back.

17. Nicholas Crane
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Only a totally pretentious TV/Media cunt would think of bringing an umbrella on a 'fake' canoeing trip

18. Nicholas Crane
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The Mr Punch looky-likey map man, as mentioned before, goes arond with an umbrella as some sort of desperate gimmick, (as if his freakaziod face wasn't enough). Yet last week, when he was walking aro

19. Nicholas van Hoogstraten
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The BBC report that "British property developer has been arrested in Zimbabwe", ha ha, that stuck up murdering cunt has finally been turned on by that other murdering cunt Mugabe. Both Cunts, hopefull

20. Paul Weller poster
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Has anyone seen Mr Weller and Nicholas Lyndhurst together ? Didn't fuckin' think so.

21. The new Nicholas Lyndhurst *vehicle* on
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... it now looks like the right people are falling on their swords. All well and good. But we need no more Nicholas Lyndhurst comedies. He is at best a sidekick. 'My Family' was shit when you proudly...

22. Poland
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

...EU by saying that there's fuck all point in signing it as the Irish voted against. Thus upsetting that tit Nicholas Sarkorsky who everyone hates and that includes the French and haven't met any that ...

23. Richard Branson
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... the rest of that Yank shit? It''s for retarded twats anyway. Point 3, Jeff Stelling, Kris Kamara, Charlie Nicholas, Phil Thompson and the rest of you Saturday afternoon cunts, FUCK OFF. Point 4, Te...

24. Saxondale
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... two, blah blah blah. Well lets see it this way, a dodgy third series, is still infinetly better then a new Nicholas Lyndhurst BBC comedy....

25. Sir Nicholas Winterton
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Descibes Sir Menzies Campbell on question time as "conservative with a small C" then goes on to say "I'm a BIG C". How fucking right you are you daft ginger haired cunt. Fucking priceless.