1. SLIPPERY IN DEBT
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BON JOVI SUED FOR 400 BILLION DOLLARS. YES, 400 BILLION DOLLARS

2. FAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT
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RICKY GERVAIS NEVER LEAVES HIS HOUSE TO EXERCISE

3. NEWSMOUND
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4. LISTEN TO WHAT THE MAN SAID
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PAUL MCCARTNEY DREADS RUINING CAREER WITH BAD SONGS. AGAIN.

5. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
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BRITNEY SPEARS NAKED IN WOMANIZER VIDEO

6. JENNY GETS ANOTHER ROCK
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J LO AND MARC ANTHONY RENEW WEDDING VOWS

7. MOTHER KNOWS BEST
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MYLEENE KLASS LAUNCHES A BABY RANGE

8. NEWSMOUND
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9. SPIDEY BLOODY SPIDEY
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BONO'S MUSICAL EXPECTED TO COST $40M

10. LITERALLY 'LITERALLY AMAZING'
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TAKE ON ME - LIT-ER-ALLY

11. NEWSMOUND
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12. GIRLFIGHT
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MICHELLE RODRIGUEZ IN SEX TOY BATTLE

13. BABY TWO MORE TIMES...
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JAMIE LYNN SPEARS RUMOURED TO PREGNANT AGAIN

14. ROLAND TWAT
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PETE DOHERTY TO LOCK HIMSELF IN A RAT-FILLED COFFIN

15. NEWSMOUND
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16. SINCERITY REPORT
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NICOLE KIDMAN ON HER RELATIONSHIP WITH TOM CRUISE

17. OFFSPRING OF GIANT FACE ON MYSPACE
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GALAXY-FACED ACTRESS HOSTS NEW BABY PICTURES ON MYSPACE

18. NEWSMOUND
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19. OBLIGATORY YOOHOO-TUBE CLIP!
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JOHN BARROWMAN LAUNCHES NEW SINGLE AND VIDEO

20. WALK THE BANK
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JOHNNY DEPP TO RECEIVE RECORD PAYDAY FOR NEW PIRATES FILM

21. MEAT THE BEATLES
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MACCA'S NEW SQUEEZE NOW A CARD-CARRYING VEGETARIAN

22. IS THIS THE GREATEST NAME IN THE WORLD?
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If a picture paints 1000 words, then two words added to a picture equals utter amazingness

23. IS IT ANY BLUNDER
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KEANE TO UNVEIL NEW 'FUNKY' DIRECTION

24. HBO NO-NO
(Holy News / News)

KAYNE WEST TV SHOW 'TOO HARDCORE' TO AIR?

25. OWN GOALY MOLY
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JOE KINNEAR'S FOUR LETTER RANT AT JOURNALISTS

26. NEWSMOUND
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27. HELP PROTECT DOLLY PARTON'S 'MOUNTAINS'
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Country singer is named as ambassador for the most important mounds in the US

28. TROUBLE WOE SEVEN
(Holy News / News)

DANIEL CRAIG SAYS NEW BOND MOVIE IS NOT CURSED

29. WE'LL ALWAYS HAVE PARIS
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LONELY HILTON STRUGGLES TO FIND TRUE FRIENDSHIP

30. NEWSMOUND
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