1. CAMPBELL'S CONDENSED CAREER
(Holy News / News)

NAOMI CONSIDERING RETIREMENT, A NATION REJOICES

2. BLAAAKEING AND ENTERING
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE ARRESTED OVER DRUG VIDEO

3. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

4. CAN'T BUY ME LOVE
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON WOULD LIKE TO BUY A CHEETAH

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

7. WIN HOTTEST STATE GOODIES
(Holy News / Competition)

FIVE SOUNDTRACKS AND DVDS FOR GRABS

8. PUBLISH AND BE REDEEMED
(Holy News / News)

LYNNE SPEARS’ BOOK WILL BE PUBLISHED

9. WIN A SKATEBOARD
(Holy News / Competition)

A SKATEBOARD AND PARANOID PARK GOODIES ON OFFER

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. WEST(LIFE) WORLD
(Holy News / News)

WESTLIFE WOULD LIKE ROBBIE WILLIAMS TO JOIN THE BAND

12. INDIANA JONES AND THE LOOSE-LIPPED EXTRA OF BLAB
(Holy News / News)

INDIANA JONES IV PLOT POINTS REVEALED

13. Pigs Fly, William Marries
(Holy News / News)

Prince William married claims US tabloid

14. Roll Out The Borrell
(Holy News / News)

Holy Moly! Exclusive: Razorlight frontman overvalued by art tossers

15. Brolly Poor Show
(Holy News / News)

Rihanna is to launch her own range of umbrellas

16. OBLIGATORY YOU TUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

News Video on Paris Hilton release is literally an embarrassment to humankind

17. A Tramp In The BB Line Up? Surely Not!
(Holy News / News)

Glamour Model Lucy James Set for Big Brother?

18. BBC News again
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Thanks BBC, I've always wanted to know Brian Mays' opinion on the anti apartheid movement and Nelson Mandela, I can now tick that one off my list. Next week Michael Stipe on terminal 4.

19. Free Nelson Mandela!!!!!
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

So you've been out for the best part of 18 years now and what have you done? Nothing, thats what. No charity single, no celebrity Big Brother appearance. You haven't even been on the Friday Night Proj

20. Nelson Mandela
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

If Mandela was as cross about Mugabe as he is about Naomi Campbell ("Campbell barred from Mandela 90th birthday celebration"), that would be helpful. Senile old cunt.

21. Nelson Mandela
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

If you read his Long Walk to Freedom you’ll realise that you’re a cunt and he is a hero. He doesn’t tell you this of course, it just dawns on you about half way through.

22. Had Willie Nelson married Noddy Holder, He would h...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Had Willie Nelson married Noddy Holder, He would have become Willie Holder.

23. 12" 80s POP
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

...g Guns Howard Jones - New song  DISC 2 Special AKA - Nelson Mandela Orange Juice - Rip it up New Order - ...