1. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

2. RE-VERSION
(Holy News / News)

MARK RONSON RETRACTS JOSS STONE STORY

3. THESE WORDS
(Holy News / News)

AMY WINEHOUSE FINDS AN UNLIKELY ALLY IN NATASHA BEDINGFIELD

4. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

5. BROTHERLY LOVE
(Holy News / News)

RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN JUST LIKE 'BROTHER AND SISTER'

6. GOTTA GET THRU THIS STUFF AND SELL IT
(Holy News / News)

THE BEDINGFIELD SIBLINGS AUCTION PERSONAL ITEMS ON EBAY FOR CHARITY

7. FORCED TO COME DANCING
(Holy News / News)

NATASHA KAPLINSKY CLAIMS SHE WAS BULLIED INTO DOING STRICTLY COME DANCING

8. THE BRIDE WORE... A MASSIVE SMILE
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA UPSET OVER MISSING WEDDING

9. HOPEFUL LAST IMPRESSION
(Holy News / News)

GOD HELP US, DANIEL BEDINGFIELD IS BACK

10. The Crappy, Crappy Sound of Radio One
(Holy News / News)

Full tracklisting for the 40 years of Radio One album revealed

11. These Words (are bullshit)
(Holy News / News)

Natasha Bedingfield adds her two cents to the Lindsay Lohan saga

12. Gotta See Through This
(Holy News / News)

Natasha Bedingfield was stood up by Robbie Williams

13. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

14. Blue Ring Octopus
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...e of a golf ball it contains enough venom in its saliva to kill 26 men with a single bite. Not a bit like Natasha Kaplinsky then....

15. Concert For Diana
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...aring as the man in the mask?). James Morrison and James Blunt as well (two tossers for the price of one). Natasha Bedingfield (I want your babies, who knows James Hewitt might be about and you can pr...

16. Egotwats
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Used to be "Five News". Now it's "Five News With Natasha Kaplinsky". Official name. Bob Monkhouse used to do that shit, and look at HIM now. You HEAR me Jonathon Ross?

17. Natasha Bedingfield
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Also: 1) For producing a din that is the musical equivalent of Cosmopolitan; 2) For having a fat, cunty brother that can't drive. You are a cunting splitarse of the worst kind. Oh, you brui

18. Natasha Bedingfield
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

1. For looking like a fucking horse. 2. For making records that sound like they were made in 1994 and would sit hapily on a Now compilation next to Let Loose 3. For believing she actually has artist

19. Natasha Hamilton
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Atomic Cunt

20. Natasha Kaplinski
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For being the most false, transparent, patronising, condescending cunt ever spat up by breakfast TV (which is really saying something). For continually ruining my mornings with your unique brand of cu

21. Natasha Kaplinsky
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"I'm looking forward to the challenge of working on Ch5 news..." Are you fuck, you're looking forward to earning a fucking fortune, you overpaid, ugly cunt. I'd still fuck you though

22. Natasha Kaplinsky
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For thinking a "top secret new hairstyle" is more important than a basic grasp of journalism ahead of her new gig; at least no fucker will see her on Five News.

23. same difference
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

freaky pair of cheesy weirdos who make natasha and daniel bedingfield look almost credible

24. Channel Five
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For poaching Natasha Kaplinksy so there's no chance I'll ever see her over-made up pouty face, or hear her embarrassingly fluffing the words of a disaster report again.

25. Natasha Kaplinsky
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

for being in a job for one month, then announcing that your 3 months up the duff, hence claiming approximately £750,000 maternity pay next year! Result. I'd love to have been in that meeting at Five!

26. A record company going ahead and promoting Adele, ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

A record company going ahead and promoting Adele, despite the existence of Natasha Bedingfield, is the music industry equivalent of having a wank last thing at night when you don't really feel like on

27. Natasha Bedingfield is the most desirable women in...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Natasha Bedingfield is the most desirable women in the World.......... because then you could get close enough to her brother to smack him in the face