1. BE CAREFUL WHAT YOU WISH FOR...
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON COMPLAINS ABOUT PRESS INTRUSION

2. OLYMPIC-SIZED EGO
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ SLIGHTED BY SOME SWIMMER

3. SAFARI SO-GOOD-I
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON DESCRIBES WHAT SHE LIKES ABOUT AFRICA

4. HOP THE LINE
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS DENIES REESE WITHERSPOON BIOPIC RUMOURS

5. CAPTION COMPETITION
(Holy News / News)

Prince Charles admires medals

6. cash in the attic
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

To the arsewipes who sold their Grandfathers war medals and every fucking thing that their grandmother possessed so they could treat her to a slap up meal at the local Harvesters, how fucking low can

7. Michael Phelps
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ts, double jointed elbows, double jointed feet. He should be in the paralympics instead of winning proper medals the cheating cunt. And he could use his ears for paddles....

8. Team USA
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For lodging a protest over the women's 100m (Jamaica took all three medals) on the basis that one of their OWN athletes false-started. Give it up you sore-losing fuckers.

9. The shooting competition at the Olympics
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Why don't they just give out medals for stabbing and strangling too?!

10. tyson gay
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

you may have three gold medals, but you're still called mister gay

11. Old Soldiers
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

... on tv today. Some old boy of 91 marching along with his old pals, spring in his step and a chest full of medals. Then another old fella talking about how his brother died in the war when he was fight...