1. SLAPPER – DON'T PREACH
(Holy News / News)

JOHN MCCAIN HITS BACK AT MADONNA

2. MAMA DON'T PREACH
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA CELEBRATES HER 50TH BIRTHDAY

3. RAIDING MALAWI
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA CLOSE TO ADOPTING ANOTHER MALAWIAN CHILD

4. STORYTELLING
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA WILL NOT RENEW HER MARRIAGE VOWS

5. JUSTIN-FY MY LOVE
(Holy News / News)

MADGE WANTS TO REUNITE JUSTIN AND BRITNEY

6. GUY BITCHY
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA'S BROTHER CLAIMS GUY RITCHIE DISLIKES GAYS

7. MATERIAL PAIR
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA AND GUY RITCHIE TO SPLIT AFTER HER WORLD TOUR?

8. RAY OF LIGHT
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA DENIES AFFAIR AND DIVORCE RUMOURS

9. BALL-GAME
(Holy News / News)

ALEX RODRIGUEZ AND MADONNA RUMOURS CONTINUE

10. HOLY MOLY WORLD EXCLUSIVE: MADONNA TO DIVORCE GUY
(Holy News / News)

Madonna hires McCartney Lawyer to negotiate divorce from Guy Ritchie

11. LIKE A VIRGIN HIGH?
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA PLANS TO BUILD A MULTIMILLION DOLLAR SCHOOL IN MALAWI

12. CRUISE THAT GIRL?
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA THINKS TOM CRUISE IS A 'GOOD PERSON'

13. LESS OF MOORE
(Holy News / News)

DEMI MOORE'S PERSONAL TRAINER REVEALS BODY-SHAPING SECRETS

14. BAY CITY GROWLER
(Holy News / News)

MAYOR OF MADONNA'S HOME TOWN WANTS HER TO RETURN

15. FOUR MINUTES TO GET A TEA
(Holy News / News)

NEW MADONNA AND JUSTIN VIDEO, FOUR MINUTES

16. HANG UP
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA SELLS OUT SPECTACULARLY

17. TAKE A BOW
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA'S NEW MOVIE GOES STRAIGHT TO THE WEB

18. BANDA GOLD
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA'S SON TO MEET HIS NATURAL FATHER AGAIN

19. SHEEN IT ALL BEFORE
(Holy News / News)

NEW BIOGRAPHY REVEALS MADONNA'S WEDDING CHAOS

20. Eau De Madge
(Holy News / News)

Don't visit Madonna's house - you'll come back stinking

21. Justify My Film
(Holy News / News)

News from the set of Madonna's directorial debut, Filth And Wisdom

22. Madonna's Shooting Spree
(Holy News / News)

Madge Starts Work On Her Directorial Debut

23. Madonna's African Shopping Trip
(Holy News / News)

Madonna flies to Africa amid speculation that she's going to adopt another child

24. Bono
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For giving the father of Madonna's Cambodian baby a job ...after the child was adopted. For fuck sake Bono! Couldn't you have given him a job before he had to give his child to that whore. Now,

25. Richard & Judy
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Because I'm sure Madonna is watching the birthday celebrations you're holding for her. While i'm at it, Madonna's an old bint too.

26. Rugby Union fans
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For shushing people when some wanker has to kick a ball through goals the size of Madonna's gash. It's easy enough as it is and it's a fucking sports stadium not church. If I want to make a noise in r

27. No matter how much people hate her, everyone will ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

No matter how much people hate her, everyone will like a least one of Madonna's songs