1. MUM'S GOING TO NETTO NOW
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA HAS BEEN DECLARED BANKRUPT

2. GO BACK TO JAIL
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON PROFESSES LOVE OF MONOPOLY

3. TAKING THE PENIS
(Holy News / News)

CHRISTINA AGUILERA WELCOMES HER NEWLY-CIRCUMCISED SON HOME WITH PENIS BALLOONS

4. THE WOOD FOR THE TWEED?
(Holy News / News)

JADE GOODY'S PARTNER IN COURT FOR GOLF CLUB ATTACK

5. YAWN OF THE BED
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN COMPARES HER SEX LIFE WITH PETER TO A HORROR FILM

6. Oops I Did It... Oh, Fuck It
(Holy News / News)

Britney flashes her nipple 'by accident' - Again

7. Monopoly
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For continuing to perpetuate the myth that banks make errors in my favour!

8. Russell T Davies
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

For reinventing Doctor Who, and liberating it from the geeky twats who thought they had the monopoly on it. Oh and means that I don't have to put up with Ant and Dec on a Saturday evening.

9. There is only ever one monopoly commission. ...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

There is only ever one monopoly commission.

10. STOCKING FILLERS
(HM Approved!/HM Approved!)

... War On Terror, The Boardgame - Blow up your family with this amazing boardgame (definitely beats monopoly) Evil Balaclava -  For your grandmother (obviously) The Internet b...