1. MCFLY'S MASTURBATORY SECRETS!
(Holy News / VIDEO)

DOUGIE FROM MCFLY MASTURBATES FOUR TIMES A DAY

2. WIN TICKETS TO THE VODAFONE TBA 2 ON BRIGHTON BEACH
(Holy News / Competition)

TWO TICKETS FOR THE VODAFONE TBA 2 IN BRIGHTON

3. AT THE END OF THE DAY THE BREAST TEAM WON
(Holy News / News)

SOCCER SIX TOURNAMENT GOES ON

4. ENVY LOHAN
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY'S MYSTERIOUS JEALOUSY FIT OVER FEMALE 'FRIEND'

5. The Crappy, Crappy Sound of Radio One
(Holy News / News)

Full tracklisting for the 40 years of Radio One album revealed

6. STUFF THE PAPERS FORGOT...
(Holy News / News)

gossip from the Virgin Media launch

7. ARE BUSTED BUSTED?
(Holy News / News)

ARE BUSTED BUSTED?

8. Holy Moly
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Because despite my numerous attempts at submitting entries in Cunts Corner for McFly, McFly fans, and all things related to McFly, not one has made it through (even though it is universally agreed the

9. London 2012 party
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The Feeling, Scouting for Girls, Will Young and McFly.... Jesus, the World's eyes are on us and this is the best you can come up with!

10. McFly
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

They're not on here, and they really should be. I don't need a reason, we all know why.

11. My Neighbour / McFly
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...er met the cunts and don't normally hear a peep but last night I was treated to a full listen of the new McFly album. I just can't decide which revelation is worse; they're fucking Mail readers or tee...

12. Popjustice
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Havent updated their website since friday. Dirty McFly sniffing bank holiday abusing cunts.

13. SATAN
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... like, the King of Cunts in fact - this fucker is even more of a cunt than The Kaizer Chiefs, Jo Whiley, McFly, Keane (all those wanky scruffy bands in fact), Chavs, Festival goers, Hippies, New Yorke...

14. The Lostprophets
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...k like the suspected rapist lead singer of The Jam and obviously being more of a group of sell outs than Mcfly and Busted combined...cunts....