1. NOT-SO-EASY RIDER
(Holy News / News)

JACK NICHOLSON EMBARRASSED BY OLD AGE

2. SATURDAY NIGHT LEAVER
(Holy News / News)

JOHN TRAVOLTA NOT TOO KEEN ON RIOT-HEAVY FILM SET

3. THIN, LOOS OR BOAR
(Holy News / News)

REBECCA LOOS STILL ALIVE. YAWN

4. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

5. DATED ATTRACTION
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL DOUGLAS CONSIDERING WALL STREET SEQUEL

6. UNSTICKY AND SOUR
(Holy News / News)

MADGE AND GUY ABOUT TO ANNOUNCE DIVORCE

7. MUMMY'S BOY
(Holy News / News)

BEST PLACE FOR WINEHOUSE'S CONVICT HUBBY IS HOME, SAYS MRS CIVIL

8. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

9. BEYOND THE PALIN
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY AND SAM GO POLITICAL FOR HALLOWEEN

10. PUSH THE MUTE BUTTON
(Holy News / News)

SHARON OSBOURNE BLASTS KIDMAN AND HER 'FLAT SCREEN' FRIENDS

11. SLIPPERY IN DEBT
(Holy News / News)

BON JOVI SUED FOR 400 BILLION DOLLARS. YES, 400 BILLION DOLLARS

12. FAT'S THE WAY I LIKE IT
(Holy News / News)

RICKY GERVAIS NEVER LEAVES HIS HOUSE TO EXERCISE

13. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

14. MOTHER KNOWS BEST
(Holy News / News)

MYLEENE KLASS LAUNCHES A BABY RANGE

15. FEELING FRUITY
(Holy News / News)

PEACHES GELDOF STICKS THE BOOT IN TO STAFF

16. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

17. WORST. MARKETING. IDEA. EVER.
(Holy News / News)

'SO CRAP IT'S GOOD' MARKETING HITS ROCK BOTTOM

18. BEAT THE SPARTANS
(Holy News / News)

GERARD BUTLER ACCUSED OF ATTACKING PHOTOGRAPHER

19. HOW TO LOSE FANS AND ALIENATE CRITICS
(Holy News / News)

KIRSTEN DUNST TO WRITE HER OWN MUSICAL

20. ROLAND TWAT
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY TO LOCK HIMSELF IN A RAT-FILLED COFFIN

21. NEWSMOUND
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WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

22. MARQUEE LOON
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS FALLS FOUL OF PLANNING LAWS AGAIN

23. OFFSPRING OF GIANT FACE ON MYSPACE
(Holy News / News)

GALAXY-FACED ACTRESS HOSTS NEW BABY PICTURES ON MYSPACE

24. POSH ENDORSES SHIT
(Holy News / News)

BECKHAMS ATTRIBUTE PERFECT COMPLEXIONS TO APPLICATION OF BIRD POO

25. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

26. ALL LYNNE THE PAST
(Holy News / News)

LYNNE SPEARS IS OPTIMISTIC ABOUT THE FUTURE

27. YOU PROBABLY DON'T WANNA BE MY LOVER
(Holy News / News)

VICTORIA BECKHAM ADMITS THAT MEN DON'T FIND HER SEXY

28. THEY TRIED TO MAKE HIM GO TO REHAB
(Holy News / News)

BLAKE FIELDER-CIVIL WON'T BE RELEASED EARLY

29. IS IT ANY BLUNDER
(Holy News / News)

KEANE TO UNVEIL NEW 'FUNKY' DIRECTION

30. OWN GOALY MOLY
(Holy News / News)

JOE KINNEAR'S FOUR LETTER RANT AT JOURNALISTS