1. I USED TO HAVE A 20 HOT DOG BAGUETTE
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 43

2. MY BOTTOM IS RAW
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 42

3. THE LITTLE GREEN MAN MUST HAVE TAKEN IT AWAY FOR ANALYSIS
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 41

4. WE STARTED OFF NAKED
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 38

5. NAIVE CAMPBELL
(Holy News / News)

NAOMI CAMPBELL INSISTS SHE'S NOT A BAD PERSON

6. SHE'S A TOP DRAWER KNOB!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 34

7. I'M BEING MADE TO LOOK LIKE A KNOB
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 33

8. MY PERSONALITY PROVIDES THE REST OF THE COLOUR!
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 32

9. CHICKPEA VERSUS CHICKPEA
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 31

10. HOW OFTEN DO YOU GET MISTAKEN FOR ANGELINA JOLIE?
(Holy News / Big Brother)

THE HOLY MOLY BIG BROTHER 9 BLOG: DAY 30

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

12. BAFTA AWARDS PICTURE GALLERY
(Holy News / News)

BAFTA TELEVISION AWARD WINNERS

13. DON'T SHOOT THE MESSENGER
(Holy News / News)

MELINDA MESSENGER SEPARATES FROM HUSBAND OF TEN YEARS

14. VIVA LA SHAM
(Holy News / News)

HEATHER MILLS' NEW CHARITY PICS

15. SOME WOMAN OFF SOME SHOW IS A NIGHTMARE
(Holy News / News)

Linda Thorson Sacked from Emmerdale for making people cry

16. I'm Still Standing, unfortunately
(Holy News / News)

Elton John puts comfort before death in suicide attempt

17. The Camera Never Lies. Celebs Do.
(Holy News / News)

Linday Lohan has Calum Best sex pictures stolen from her computer

18. WWF Vs WTF
(Holy News / News)

Paul and Linda McCartney argue with Prince Philip

19. Aeroplane toilets
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ou? Frightening stuff. The noise is deafening, the suction works at one million times the strength of a Linda Lovelace blowie And god help you if you've squeezed your legs together (to rest the newsp...

20. BBC Breakfast
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Last week it was Nell McAndrew enthusing about "spuds"; today it was Melinda Messenger telling us about how much fruit to eat. If I need dietary advice, the fucking last person I'd go to is a fucking

21. Katie from The Apprentice
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Let's clear the air and get this straight now...are you, or are you not, Linda Hamilton from the Terminator?

22. Linda Barker
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

How is it with all thats good and holy this shouty northern cunt of imbecilic shitbag hasn't got her own section in HM. Every time I see her, or usually hear the cunt first I want to take a 10kg lump

23. Linda Lusardi
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Stop trying to act and get yer tits out.

24. Linda Robson
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For looking like a female version of Jim Davidson...is she his sister ?

25. Linda Robson
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Because where the police, the government and society in general has failed, some ropey charver bint from a crappy sitcom will indisputably succeed in stopping knife crime by climbing on the free publi

26. Melinda Messenger
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...th man-made chemicals, when I don't know what the health effects of these substances will be?" This is Melinda Messenger, who has these inside her: http://a.abcnews.com/images/Health/pd_breast_implant...

27. Jeremy Hardy
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Not only a piss funny chap, with political observations that are spot on, but led a great tribute to Linda Smith last night. Low-key but heart-fealt. She will be missed.

28. Linda Smith
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

In the smug world of Radio 4 "we think we're funny" comedy, you were a shining star. Other comedians tried hard to be humorous while with you it just seemed so natural. It's a pig that you popped

29. Llinda Wilson
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Wonderfully Lady who died of Cancer this week, made many an evening commute sat in the Car bearable via Radio 4 with her wit 1, David Blunkett...Satan's bearded folk singer 2, I dont do the lottery

30. Melinda Messenger
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

She seems quite nice. Good tits. Three good reasons.