1. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA MAKES UP AN IMPROMPTU SONG ABOUT SARAH PALIN

2. DESPERATE MIDWIVES
(Holy News / News)

Eva Longoria is 'just fat' and NOT pregnant

3. THE SELF-RESERVATION SOCIETY
(Holy News / News)

CYBILL SHEPHERD UNIMPRESED BY KISSING MICHAEL CAINE

4. THE FRATELLIS KILL MICE
(Holy News / VIDEO)

BAND ADMIT TO KILLING RODENTS

5. RUFF JUSTICE
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER LOPEZ SUED OVER DOG ATTACK ON A PLANE

6. THE STENCH OF PUBLICITY
(Holy News / News)

POSH AND BECKS SINGATURE SCENT HITS NOSTRILS

7. LILY'S BOOB BOOB
(Holy News / News)

LILY ALLEN DENIES PUBLICITY SEEKING WHEN SHE GOT HER NIPPLES OUT

8. WHO HAS A NOSE LIKE THIS?
(Holy News / News)

JODIE MARSH GETS TOO CLOSE TO THE CAMERA

9. MAKING A SILK PURSE OF OUT OF A SOW'S EAR
(Holy News / News)

JADE GOODY TO HAVE MORE PLASTIC SURGERY

10. ANOTHER OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

JOAN RIVERS SWEARS ON UK AFTERNOON TV

11. FLINGS IN CONVENIENCE
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN HAS 'SPECIAL TIME' WITH BOBBY BROWN'S SON IN TOILET

12. LINDSAY GOATHAND
(Holy News / News)

LINDSAY LOHAN TO MILK GOATS AFTER BEING ACCUSED OF THEFT?

13. A WHOLE NEW ALBUM
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN AND PETER ANDRE PLAN NEW ALBUM

14. PETE GOES TO THE DARK SIDE?
(Holy News / News)

PETE DOHERTY REPORTEDLY INTERESTED IN SCIENTOLOGY

15. WHO'S BUM IS THIS?
(Holy News / News)

WHICH CELEBRITY HAS FLASHED PHOTOGRAPHERS?

16. CAPTION COMPETITION!
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN SEVERED HEADS COURTESY OF THE COTTAGE

17. SPIDER-DONE
(Holy News / News)

KIRSTEN DUNST MAY GIVE UP ACTING AFTR REHAB

18. CURSE OF THE MUMMY
(Holy News / News)

JORDAN WANTS FOUR MORE CHILDREN

19. THE ELLE STYLE AWARDS
(Holy News / News)

ELLE STYLE AWARDS PHOTO GALLERY

20. THE WOO BROTHERS
(Holy News / News)

RONNIE WOOD CAUGHT JOHN BELSUHI PROPOSING TO HIS WIFE

21. WIN TICKETS TO SKINS PARTY
(Holy News / Competition)

TWENTY PAIRS OF TICKETS FOR PREMIERE

22. KANYE BELIEVE IT?
(Holy News / News)

KANYE WEST SPENDS NEW YEAR PLAYING CONNECT 4

23. THE SISTERS GRIM
(Holy News / News)

SIENNA MILLER AND KATE MOSS ARE FRIENDS AGAIN

24. THE SPIDER PIG COMETH
(Holy News / News)

SIMPSONS CHARACTER TAKES TO THE LONDON SKIES

25. DISH FACE DISGRACE
(Holy News / News)

SOPHIE ELLIS BEXTOR HAS ANOTHER POP AT POSH SPICE

26. AVRIL BLOODY LAVIGNE?
(Holy News / News)

AND THE MTV EMA WINNERS ARE

27. 'DESPERATE' SAYS FISHWIFE
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA CRITICISES POSH SPICE'S ACTIONS

28. I'LL BE THERE FOR PUBE
(Holy News / News)

JENNIFER ANISTON IS OBSESSED WITH WAXING HER BIKINI LINE

29. WHO LIVES IN A HOUSE LIKE THIS?
(Holy News / News)

LOUIS WALSH DISHES THE DIRT ON HIS FAKE X-FACTOR HOUSE

30. KATONA'S ROTTEN PROOFS
(Holy News / News)

KERRY KATONA'S FIRST NOVEL TO BE PUBLISHED SOON