1. I SOUGHT THE LAW
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW LINKED WITH MODEL LILY COLE

2. I PORKED THE LAW?
(Holy News / News)

JUDE LAW SPOTTED KISSING KIMBERLEY STEWART

3. WHAT A SHIT SANDWICH
(Holy News / News)

Spectacle Wearers of 2007 announced, world keeps turning

4. Something for the weekend?
(Holy News / News)

Kimberly Stewart: Older, still vile

5. Money Can't Buy Us Love
(Holy News / News)

Paris Hilton parties with the Chelsea squad

6. Kimberley Walsh
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

I'd hack off my left foot with a bread knife then hop round the world on the bloodied stump just to inhale her farts.