1. BROTHERLY LOVE
(Holy News / News)

RIHANNA AND CHRIS BROWN JUST LIKE 'BROTHER AND SISTER'

2. WIN A W800I FROM VIRGIN MOBILE
(Holy News / News)

WIN A W800I FROM VIRGIN MOBILE

3. Billie Jean
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

As if ANYBODY is going to believe that Michael Jackson is the kid's father....

4. GMTV
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Story 1 - Kidnapped kid's stepfather arrested! Light a torch and grab your pitchfork, be vigilant, there are paedos everywhere! Story 2 - Teenager raped and murdered in India! Probably by a dirty pae

5. Security at Sainsbury's Romford
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Teach these pricks the heimlich method. Standing and watching does not remove half a fucking twix. Twats in jobsworth hats. (Kid's fine now by the way.)

6. Rude Dog and the Dweebs
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

I know that ironic reverence for old kid's shows is a bit irritating, but you have to admit it deserves to be a sacred cow, if only for the title.