1. CAN'T BUY ME LOVE
(Holy News / News)

PARIS HILTON WOULD LIKE TO BUY A CHEETAH

2. I PREDICT A DIET
(Holy News / News)

KAISER CHIEFS SINGER IS MISTAKEN FOR EWAN MCGREGOR

3. BRIT AWARDS PHOTO GALLERY
(Holy News / News)

BRIT AWARD WINNERS

4. PHOTO GALLERY OF BRIT NOMINEES
(Holy News / News)

BRIT AWARD PREDICTIONS

5. The Crappy, Crappy Sound of Radio One
(Holy News / News)

Full tracklisting for the 40 years of Radio One album revealed

6. Orange Won't Pay-List
(Holy News / News)

Prince Harry refuses to buy CDs

7. Alex Zane
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...eep trying long enough you might actually get that result And why I am on it "STOP PLAYING THE FUCKING KAISER CHIEFS"...

8. Artic Monkeys
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... new material is shite. Only one Yorkshire band worthy of the title "greatest band alive" and that is the Kaisers....

9. Bands playing in football stadiums
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Radiohead playing at Old Trafford, Kaiser Chiefs playing at Elland Road (who the fuck had that stupid idea...). Overblown super-stadium gigs seem to be getting more and more popular these days, not on

10. Holymoly posters
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...p, read someone's newspaper, put a metro in my bag, take a full hour for lunch, be Terry Wogan, be in the Kaiser Chiefs, be a rude woman, fart, be ugly, wear sunglasses, work in the media (I'd kill my...

11. Kaiser Chiefs
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Music in this country has completely gone to the dogs if the likes of these cunts are so fucking celebrated. More manufactured than Westlife and with less soul, they shamelessly plagiarise Blur. If I

12. Kaiser Chiefs
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You are not indie. You are not rockers. You do not have talent. You are not an angry mob. Please do us all a favour and fuck off back to leeds and take your shitty music with you. Mainstream cunts.

13. Kaiser Chiefs
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Did you hear them at the Brit's? Rooooby Roooby Roooooby Rooooby...and then the flattest backing vocals since The Human League. Do people actually pay to hear this shit?

14. Kaiser Chiefs'' new song
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Everything''s Average Nowadays... Never has there been a bigger case of the pot calling the kettle black. Average dickheads.

15. Kaiser Cunts
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

"Everything is average nowadays," yeah except you below average cunts

16. Liverpool City Of Culture
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Zutons? Kaiser Chiefs? Paul McFartney? Is that the best you can do? Hardly Renaissance Florence, eh.

17. Q Magazine.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...cking farcical glossy piece of shit, Smash Hits replica for gormless skinhead vegan twats, who think that Kaiser Chiefs, Coldplay, Razorlight, and Amy Slimehouse are "cutting edge" artists. Hasn't be...

18. The Brit Awards.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For further fuelling the unsubstantiated rumour that Coldplay, The Kaiser Chiefs, Green Day and James Cunt are talented. And for passing over more deserving artists who could fucking run circles aroun

19. The Kaiser Chiefs
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

They've hit out at Indie music for being boring. Complaining that record labels are "pushing bands who play Indie by numbers" Am I missing something here??? Is he taking the piss??? Or does Ricky Wils

20. Virign Radio
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

The Feeling, Kaiser Cheifs, Razorlight, U2 Repeat ad nausem cunts.

21. XFM again
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... Nonsense chat by that unfunny twat Alex Zane (serioulsy, i'd pan your face in if i saw you) Song by The Kaiser Chiefs Advert for album that hasnt been selling too well or xfm gig or something as sh...

22. Depeche mode
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Gave the world:- Personal Jesus Enjoy the Silence I feel you Everything Counts Kaiser Chiefs, razorlight, Kasabian etc have just given me a headache.

23. If Kaiser Chiefs are a poor mans Blur, and Blur ar...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

If Kaiser Chiefs are a poor mans Blur, and Blur are a poor mans Kinks, then that must mean that the Kaiser Chiefs must be a tramps Kinks.

24. It is impossible to listen to Xfm for more than tw...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

It is impossible to listen to Xfm for more than twenty minutes without hearing a Kaiser Chiefs song.