1. MASS DEBACLE
(Holy News / News)

DAVID BECKHAM AND JIMMY PAGE IN OLYMPIC CLOSING CEREMONY

2. THE EDGE OF REASON
(Holy News / News)

BONO COMPARES THE EDGE TO VINCENT VAN GOGH

3. TAKING THE RSVP
(Holy News / News)

MICHAEL LOHAN UNHAPPY ABOUT HIS DAUGHTER'S WEDDING PLANS

4. GHOULS ALOUD
(Holy News / News)

NICOLA ROBERTS CONSULTS PSYCHIC BEFORE DUMPING BOYFRIEND

5. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

OR THE SECRET DIARY OF P DOEHERTY OF BABYSHABLES

6. CRUISE MEETS VILLAGE PEOPLE?
(Holy News / News)

TOM CRUISE ANECDOTE CUT FROM VILLAGE PEOPLE MEMOIR

7. WHITE TIGER NOT INCLUDED
(Holy News / News)

MORE PICS TO RUIN JODIE MARSH'S EXCLUSIVE

8. CRAP IDOL
(Holy News / News)

RIO FERDINAND ORGANISES 'RAP IDOL' FOR ANTI-GUN CAMPAIGN

9. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

I'M F**KING BEN AFFLECK

10. AND THE AWARD GOES TO...WHATSHISNAME?
(Holy News / News)

OZZY OSBOURNE NERVOUS ABOUT HOSTING BRIT AWARDS

11. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP
(Holy News / News)

MATT DAMON DOES A VIDEO FUNNY

12. MODERN TOSS INTERVIEW
(Holy News / News)

MODERN TOSS ANSWER YOUR QUESTIONS

13. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

14. SCOUSE PARTY
(Holy News / News)

LIVERPOOL TO HOST 2008 MTV AWARDS

15. Kick, Step, Stop Right Now!
(Holy News / News)

Mel 'Scary Spice' Brown to appear in 'Dancing With The Stars'

16. Right to be so, so, so wrong.
(Holy News / News)

bad fake accents on youtube

17. Right to be so, so, so wrong
(Holy News / News)

Joss Stone, the latest in a long line of shonky accent merchants

18. WINEHOUSE ON BLINDING FORM
(Holy News / News)

Winehouse wows the Astoria

19. WINEHOUSE ON BLINDING FORM
(Holy News / News)

WINEHOUSE ON BLINDING FORM

20. WINNER BAKES ALL
(Holy News / News)

WINNER BAKES ALL

21. Murphy's Law
(Holy News / News)

Murphy's Law

22. Jimmy 'five bellies' Gardner
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Sponged off Gazza for years and you alone are responsible for his current predicament. Some minder. You fat freeloader.

23. Jimmy Carr
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You're an unfunny cunt. Simple as that. Fuck off.

24. Jimmy Carr
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What the fuck are you doing presenting commercial breakdown to canned laughter, you used to be a god comedian. And as you've taken over from jim davidson, i guess it makes you as big a cunt as he is.

25. Jimmy Page
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ain Beefheart!!?? (Dont know aht I'm talking about... read this: http://www.showbizspy.com/2008/01/28/jimmy-page-ready-for-a-led-zeppelin-world-tour/ )...

26. Jimmy Saville
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

When I wrote to you to help cure my grandmother's cancer, you couldn't be arsed to even write back. May you rot in hell, you lonely old piss-smelling cunt.l..

27. Jimmy White
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Yes I know that, as a nation, we love him but he's a cunt for two reasons. A) he didnt win the World Snooker thing even though John Parrott did. B) all his fans now support Ronnie O'Sullivan who is

28. Jimmy's Farm
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Talk about product placement in the bbc. This cunt was dead and buried in the first series, this series the local farming community inbreeders are queuing for grissled-lumpy daisy fed sausages. Spare

29. Male Fashion Designers
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...y five hundred quid for a pair of shorts that you know in the back of your mind will make you look like Jimmy Krankie after a pie eating competition. ...

30. Next door neighbour
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...y steering wheel cover in her car, with the words 'Glamour Girl' printed on it. Yet she looks like a fat Jimmy Savile....