1. WIN ULTIMATE HOLIDAY COMPILATION CDS AND SPA JACUZZI
(Holy News / Competition)

SPA JACUZZI FOR THREE AND HOLIDAY CDS UP FOR GRABS

2. MAXI-RELIEF
(Holy News / News)

VERN TROYER SEX TAPE IS EMBARGOED

3. OBLIGATORY YOUTUBE CLIP!
(Holy News)

INTRODUCING THE NEW IPHONE SHUFFLE

4. WIN 'MAN OF THE YEAR' DVDS AND AN IPOD NANO
(Holy News / Competition)

WIN DVDS AND IPOD NANO

5. BLYTHE SPIRIT
(Holy News / News)

GWYNETH PALTROW'S MARRIAGE IS FINE, SAYS HER MOTHER

6. WIN AN IPOD AND X FACTOR GOODIES
(Holy News / Competition)

FIVE GAMES AND AN IPOD FOR GRABS

7. ARE YOU GONNA MOW MY HAY?
(Holy News / News)

LENNY KRAVITZ MAY HAVE BEEN ENGAGED TO NICOLE KIDMAN

8. HOPEFUL LAST IMPRESSION
(Holy News / News)

GOD HELP US, DANIEL BEDINGFIELD IS BACK

9. Neighbours: Everybody Needs Greedy Bastards
(Holy News / News)

The case of Neighbours are going head to head over some wanky quiz nights

10. Break A Leg
(Holy News / News)

Heather Mills appears on US TV show 'Dancing With The Stars'

11. Break A Leg
(Holy News / News)

Heathner Mills on Dancing With The Stars

12. Apprentice World Exclusive!
(Holy News / News)

The contestants for the new series of The Apprentice have been announced

13. Apprentice World Exclusive!
(Holy News / News)

contestants named in BBC's The Apprentice

14. Bad Vibrations!
(Holy News / News)

Bad Vibrations!

15. Aeroplane Communications People
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For god's sake just install radios that don't fuck up when I listen to my ipod so I can take my mind off potential impending death when landing. Budget cutting cunts

16. Apple
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I borrowed my girlfriend's Ipod to use at work and took care of it like a prematurely born baby. Whilst laying on my desk the fucking little cunt of a machine stops working, meaning I have to fork out

17. Eva Longoria
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I can't leave my house without seeing this cunts cunt on a billboard, magazine cover, bus stop, ipod, perfume bottle, makeup bag, television screen, or scrap of paper blowing along the pavement. Next

18. iPod cords
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...cords you plug into your iCunt in order to listen to the fucker. I swear you unplug these or take your iPod off and soon as you look away they've manifested themselves into one huge cunting tangle of...

19. IPod Socks.
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

How cold does you Ipod get exactly? Not £20 worth of cold surely. No protection and it makes the device look ridiculous. If you must put your ipod in a small fabric pouch (?!) have you thought of t

20. iPod Video
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

For being a walking mugging advertisement. Cunt.

21. iPods
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Common digital whore: why do you only seem to work on thursdays and why when set to 'Shuffle Songs' you automatically revert to Louis Walsh track selection mode, why do you look so gay, why do you blo

22. me
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for wearing fucking levi's with built-in i ipod controls to work with slip-on, lace-less, perforated leather converse. i'm 36 for fuck's sake. grow up will you. cunt.

23. Morrissey
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...through his gladioli-abusing ambiguous sexuality. 86 years on and he still thinks that everyone with an iPod still discusses nothing else - is he or isn''t he? Perhaps he feels that by churning out th...

24. People wearing ipods on a string round t
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...r mum putting your mittens on a piece of string so they don't fall out of your duffle coat. Put your ipod in your pocket like everyone else you ostentatious cunt...

25. People who refuse to believe that you ca
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

In the past 12 months i've recieved 4 PS3s, a Wii, an Xbox 360, 3 Ipod Touches, 2 Ipod Videos, 2 Ipod Nanos, a 32" HDTV, a 24" Imac, a TomTom GO, a Dyson worth £300, an Iphone, and numerous other thi

26. People who whine about iPod owners
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Firstly, it's an iPod. Not an i-pod, iPod. If you're going to insult the product, at least get the name right.Secondly, I own an iPod, and I'm most definately not a cunt. My friends all have Creative

27. sky broadband
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I've had it for 4 days. It's server has been down for the majority of this time. Importing to iPod manually!?!??! Murdoch backed thieving no good holymoly reading preventing cunts.

28. Students who say 'Random'
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...se at university, but wouldn't classify myself as a 'student', with their thin hair and Coldplay-filled iPods. If i hear one more Vitamin deficient pretentious cunt say "Wow! how random is that: Ferg...

29. The bloke who lost his Ipod
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

youve spent that much money on an apple piece of crap yet cant afford a coat with decent zips? Why the fuck would you take an mp3 player to a gig anyway? Not quite enough music for you??? finders kee

30. The Cunt who dropped his Ipod @ the Kil
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You utter cunt! Why take an Ipod to a gig? Surely the reason for going to the gig was to listen to Music? (The killers were awesome BTW!) Silly, anti social, Ipod wearing nauze. God forbid someone wil