1. GIVE UP THE DAY JOB
(Holy News / News)

NICK GRIMSHAW AND ZEZI IFORE CLEAN THE STREETS AND DO A BETTER JOB AT THAT THAN PRESENTING

2. THE INACCURATE COLLECTION
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA AND GUY RITCHIE'S PUB ACCUSED OF PRICE FIXING

3. WAR OF THE STONE ROSES
(Holy News / News)

JOSS STONE TO APPEAR IN 'THE TUDORS' AS ANNE OF CLEVES

4. BOO!
(Holy News / News)

SARAH FERGUSON FRIGHTENS EVERYONE WITH HER FACE

5. SCHOOL'S OUT FOR SUMMER
(Holy News / News)

THE KIDS ARE OUT FOR THE BT HOME HUB PARTY

6. TOO MUCH SUN?
(Holy News / News)

HENRY HOLLAND LOOKS SUNBURNT IN PLAYSTATION SINGSTAR TENT AT GLASTONBURY

7. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

8. LA DOLCE VITA!
(Holy News / News)

OBLIGATORY CRAPPY CELEBRITY GALLERY

9. OFFICIAL: COLDPLAY SEND YOU TO SLEEP
(Holy News / News)

COLDPLAY BEAT SNOOZEPATROL TO BE THE MOST YAWN INDUCING BAND

10. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

11. WHEN THE FOOL BECOMES A KING
(Holy News / News)

THE COUNTRY GOES CHILDREN IN NEED CRAZY

12. THE DAY THE MUSIC CRIED
(Holy News / News)

BOYZONE TO REFORM AND FURTHER ALBUMS NOT RULED OUT

13. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

14. Fat's All, Folks
(Holy News / News)

Dawn French expects to die young

15. ALLOW US THE INDULGENCE FOR A SECOND
(Holy News / News)

holy moly blows its own trumpet

16. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

17. Brit actors on Jay Leno
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...omimes, warm beer. Im so pleased to be here in LA. Hugh Laurie, Emma cunt thompson, Colin Firth, Lenny Henry. Et al. I hope as your'e leaving the studios you are mugged and a fuckin big cap bust up ...

18. Dawn French & Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

That's a porno I wouldn't want to see.

19. French and Saunders comeback
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

1. They're not funny. 2. It might give Lenny Henry ideas.

20. Henry Holland
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You've made a career out of ripping off Katherine Hamnett T-shirts and generally being a cunt. Well done.

21. Henry Rollins
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Please just STOP SHOUTING you fucking gaylord.

22. Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

He presented a show to find out what makes Britain laugh. Glad to see the BBC have finally realised it isn't this cunt.

23. Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Cunt hasn't been up here for ages so why not usher in the new year with a reminder that this great oaf is officially the nation's most unfunny cunt? Every time there's an article or about HM this twat

24. Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

FULL STOP.

25. Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

God, this is getting to be a chore... Rudy's Rare Records... Lenny's new Radio 4 comedy... Written by two other cunts but based on an original idea by Lenny! Sample joke... imagine it to the sound

26. Lenny Henry
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

I don't need to see your massive, unfunny head telling me what you think of The Mighty Boosh.

27. Lenny Henry - TV is racist
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Oh dear Lenny, you have outdone yourself this time!!! The institution which you have used as your bread and butter for Christ knows how many excrutiating years is racist...and you choose now to hark

28. Lenny Henry on Radio 4
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Saying he doesn't see what people see in Bob Dylan and his music. That's rich coming from this talentless cunt who keeps popping up like an attack of genital herpes. Annoying cunt.

29. Mercury Prize crowd
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...ve to do and then get rich because of it. What has she done? Cured cancer? Saved the Earth? Killed Lenny Henry? Fucking arseholes....

30. Models
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

.... They fuck like it was going out of fashion. You lot are just pointless cum recepticles for overpaid PR henrys. Cunts - the lot of you...