1. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

2. MR FARTSY
(Holy News / News)

COLIN FIRTH SEX SCENE INTERRUPTED BY FART

3. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

4. TOP OF THE LOPS
(Holy News / News)

SHARON OSBOURNE IS THE TOP RECIPIENT OF PLASTIC SURGERY

5. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

6. BACKE ON TEH DRUGGES AGANE!
(Holy News / pete)

THE SECRET DAIRY OF PEAT DOEHERTY i.e. OF BABEYSHABLES

7. MAMMARY LOSS
(Holy News / News)

HELENA BONHAM-CARTER TALKS ABOUT HER EXPANDING BREASTS

8. SPINNING AROUND
(Holy News / News)

MADONNA TO HELP PROMOTE GUY RITCHIE'S FILM IN US

9. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET

10. SOUND OF THE UNDERCLASS
(Holy News / News)

CHERYL COLE ADMITS SHE WAS A CHAV

11. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S GOING ON ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

12. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

WHAT'S HAPPENING ELSEWHERE ON THE INTERNET?

13. SMILE LIKE YOU MEAN IT
(Holy News / News)

Easy Living magazine photoshop Helena Christensen

14. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

15. NEWSMOUND
(Holy News / News)

What's happening elsewhere on the internet?

16. Day 26: June 25th
(Holy News / Big Brother)

Chanelle and Ziggy argue over blackheads. And that roughly sums it up.

17. holy moly talks women's fashion...
(Holy News / News)

Oscar ceremony dresses

18. holy moly talks women's fashion...
(Holy News / News)

What everyone was wearing at the Oscars

19. Helen Chamberlain
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

Many things, but particularly this conversation from Soccer am Saturday morning: Helen to MK Dons supporter: How excited are you on a scale of 1 to 10? Supporter: 11 Helen: Spinal Tap reference the

20. Helen Chamberlain
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You are about 50, start acting like it you silly bint

21. Helen Hunt
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

for not calling your son mike.

22. Helena Christensen
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

My washing machine was a cheap one and doesn't have a 30 degree setting so enough with the fucking guilt trip yeah?

23. Karl Lagerfeld
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...d shirts and making out it's fashionable when we all know it's to hidea neck that's more wrinkled than Helen Daniels'. And she's dead. Cunt....

24. Me
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...r not realising the new Sweeny Tood movie was a musical. Walked out after about 3 minutes 42 seconds of Helena Bonham Carter making pies and Johnny Depp declaring his love for a razor via the medium ...

25. No return train for in 2 hours
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

What? What do you mean? I don't want to spend 2 hours wandering around fucking St Helens. I've not even had my shots!

26. Premier League All Stars
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

...atch into quarters to allow the fans to take a break and go and buy another 12 hot dogs. Ian Wright & Helen Chamberlain should be fucking ashamed of themselves. And as for the pitchside reporter...

27. Sour Faced Bint - Tesco's St helens
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

You know who you are. Stringy-haired screwed-up faced hag. Always got a right gob on her, like she's just shat herself, because people have the fucking nerve to go in and expect her to serve them. T

28. Top 100 whatever shows
(Glossary / Cunts Corner)

... a pizza commercial or been a straightforward failed fucking voiceover git like Roland Rivron or fucking Helen Lederer. Cunts....

29. Dame Helen Mirren
(Glossary / Sacred Cows)

Because no other woman past the age of 60 will give you an erection

30. Everyone, and I mean, Everyone, born in the UK bef...
(Glossary / Rules of Modern Life)

Everyone, and I mean, Everyone, born in the UK before 1985 can remember when Helen Daniels had a stroke, and can mimick the facial expression perfectly.